The board read twelve-oh-seven, still enough time to change my mind. I kept thinking you might call me, kept finding reasons not to try. You’d said everything you needed, I just heard it much too slow. By the time they gave the final warning, I already knew I wouldn’t go. Oh, I told myself I needed time, like time was mine to own. Funny how waiting feels like choosing till you’re standing there alone. I watched the red lights fade away, waiting on a word I never gave. I could’ve run, I could’ve called, could’ve found a hundred ways. But you don’t hear the moment breaking when you’re standing in the way. I had one last train home— and I just stood there watching it go. You never asked me for forever, never needed some grand reply. Yeah, you just wanted something honest before another night went by. I kept leaving room between us, like the distance proved me right. Till the space I thought would save me was the thing I couldn’t cross that night. Oh, I thought keeping one foot outside meant I’d never lose control. Turns out you can guard the doorway and still be the one who lets it close. I watched the red lights fade away, waiting on a word I never gave. I could’ve run, I could’ve called, could’ve found a hundred ways. But you don’t hear the moment breaking when you’re standing in the way. I had one last train home— and I just stood there watching it go—! Maybe I thought you’d turn around. Maybe I thought I had another night. Maybe I’d gotten so good at waiting I mistook it for being right. Yeah, there’s a difference between leaving and letting something leave you behind. I learned it somewhere after midnight with nothing left to change my mind. You weren’t asking me to chase you. You weren’t asking me to prove anything more than I could stay there long enough to finally choose. Yeah, I watched those red lights fade away, and this time I called your name. Too late to make you turn around, too late to make it mean the same. You don’t hear it breaking till the silence gets its way. I had one last train home— and I just stood there watching you go—! There’ll always be another train... Maybe next time I won’t watch it leave again.
