[This song is about ending a friendship when the relationship has become so emotionally exhausting and complicated that the speaker no longer trusts themselves to say goodbye without it being a crucifying goodbye.] [Verse 1] The blood in my veins is starting to blue I’m becoming cold, numb, lifeless This friendship is hollowing out my care Is our end threatening me with a dare? Is this a seasonal relationship? Here today, gone tomorrow A here-today, gone-tomorrow kind of thing A dead pulse ready for the grave I’ve spent too many long sleepless nights Thinking about How our simple Became complicated My brain has lost all oxygen over this I’m at tilt A salvation’s end A goodbye’s grave [Pre-Chorus] I’m in the cemetery of the dead Looking for a plot I just want to ghost out Must I R.I.P. goodbye with words? [Chorus] I don’t want to goodbye you With a dagger made of words But my bandwidth for kind conversation Has tapped out, has tapped out I don’t want to gut you I don’t want to bleed you dry But every truth I have left Has a knife’s edge when it comes out Maybe a ghost goodbye Is better than a knife goodbye Maybe silence hurts less Than the truth I have inside [Verse 2] I’m in a death-bed spiral I still care, but all I have left Is a truth that sears What a warped conundrum Smoke clouds are telling me nothing So light the fire, let it roll Let the past brew its history Let it bury what we know I’m ready to snitch this bitch Welcome to the shit show Clock… click… boom… But I don’t want the final word To be the word that scars you [Pre-Chorus] I’m in the cemetery of the dead Standing over our plot I could carve out every reason But maybe I should just stop [Chorus] I don’t want to goodbye you With a dagger made of words But my bandwidth for kind conversation Has tapped out, has tapped out I don’t want to gut you I don’t want to bleed you dry But every truth I have left Has a knife’s edge when it comes out Maybe a ghost goodbye Is better than a knife goodbye Maybe silence hurts less Than the truth I have inside [Bridge – building] Is my silence kinder Than my heart carving honesty? Must I be silent To be mean nice? Do I share my truth And carve endless nights of pain? Do I tell you why And watch another argument begin? Or do I disappear Before my words weaponize? [Breakdown] We don’t work. That’s the truth. I’d like not to knife you a goodbye. I’d like a kind goodbye. But all I’ve got Are axe words that grind. Chalkboard nail-grind over. No more complications. No more filling up With more pain-in-the-ass gas. Home sweet home. [Final Chorus] I don’t want to goodbye you With a dagger made of words I don’t want our last memory To be everything that hurt So maybe I’ll ghost out Maybe I’ll leave it undefined Because sometimes the kindest goodbye Is the one you never weaponize I don’t want a knife goodbye I don’t want a bloody end I just want to close the door And stop reopening it again [Outro] Let a new sunrise rise With you in the rearview window Of my past. Day one Of my goodbye. Day one. Happiness Peace.
