bluffin' gators

[INTRO] I don’t trust them gators... They been blinkin’ in Morse code again. I don’t know what they’re sayin’... But every time I blink, they get closer. [VERSE 1] There’s a gator on the shoreline winkin’ at my soul Tail twitchin’ like he knows who’s got control Whispered through a mossy grin, “Your swamp friends been talkin’ again.” I said, “Boy, quit bluffin’, show me your hand” He slapped the water like a crooked con man Herons up high gossipin’ ’bout swamp-town schemes Say them gators been takin’ bets on my dreams One wore a hat. One held a briefcase. One just stared at me Like he’d already seen my case. [HOOK] Bluffin’ gators, shady eyes Smile full o’ teeth and government lies Blink once, blink twice, don’t trust that grin If he nod at you, don’t nod back, friend Bluffin’ gators, playin’ it cool Lookin’ like reptiles but they makin’ the rules If he winks twice, you better go That’s swamp talk, and you don’t wanna know [RAP VERSE 1] That gator got a pager, know my social security Log-bin briefcase full of rural absurdity Tryna sell me swamp stock, “Prime real estate” But his tail started twitchin’ when he said “Interest rate” Cousin said, “Chill, bro, he just sunbathin’” Then his reflection started grinnin’ while he wasn’t Lily pads hummed when he turned my way And a frog whispered, “He’s been askin’ all day” I said, “Ask who?” Frog said, “You.” Now I’m backin’ toward the truck real slow Gator raised one eyebrow like, “You really wanna go?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “Why?” [PRE-CHORUS] Swamp air thick like lies in July Moon hang crooked in a catfish sky Fiddle start tremblin’, water stop stillin’ Old gator leaned close and whispered, “You been talkin’ to the Crawdad, haven’t you?” [CHORUS] Bluffin’ gators by the moonlight glow Got secret deals where the black waters flow They ain’t huntin’ meat, they huntin’ thought Tryna tax my brain like it’s river-bought Bluffin’ gators, dealin’ low Shake your hand while they count your toes If that smile gets wider when you say “No” You better pack your things and go [RAP VERSE 2] I heard they run the lottery in the bayou mist Shake hands with Lizard Man, then vanish in the mist Sell prophecy by the mason-jar shake Put bingo cards on a turtle’s back for stakes Gator said, “Sit down, son, you look uneasy” I said, “I ain’t sittin’ nowhere you tell me, easy” Then my six-pack started turnin’ clockwise One can popped open and looked me in the eyes Gator blinked three times— That’s a swamp threat. I threw my hat and said, “Boy, you ain’t met me yet.” He smiled. “I know.” [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK] [4 bars: dobro swamp slide] [4 bars: fiddle glissando freak-out] [4 bars: banjo tremolo trip] [4 bars: harmonica ghost spiral] [All instruments stack into chaotic swamp crescendo] [FINAL CHORUS] Bluffin’ gators keep their secrets deep Sign contracts while you’re tryin’ to sleep If he smirks when the moon goes thin Boy, that reptile’s plannin’ your next sin Bluffin’ gators, teeth all bright Holdin’ court in the swamp at night One says “Run,” one says “Stay” One just smiles and looks away Bluffin’ gators, shady eyes Blinkin’ warnings underneath moonlit skies I said, “Who’s in charge around here?” They all pointed at the Possum. [OUTRO — muttered] He just winked again... Nope. I’m movin’ counties. ... Wait. He’s already in the truck. ... How’d he get the keys? [beat] And why’s he drivin’?