[Intro — spoken] “What’s your name?” “Caroline.” “Oh! Sweet Caroline… ” ... Excuse me? I didn’t give you permission to touch me. [Verse 1] My mama named me Caroline, Said it was a pretty name. She probably never thought that song Would drive me half insane. Every time I introduce myself, Here comes that familiar tune. Before you even know my middle name, You're singing like a damn cartoon. “Sweet Caroline!” Yeah, I heard it before. You’re about the hundredth person To sing it at my door. And I smile, I try to play nice, But there's something you should know... [Pre-Chorus] You can sing the song, You can have your fun, You can tell me I’m the sweetest one... But keep your hands right where they are— [Chorus] Sweet Caroline! STOP RIGHT THERE! I didn’t give you permission To touch me anywhere! You learned my name, Not my boundaries. That doesn't mean we're suddenly best friends. I might be sweet, I might be kind, But don't confuse the two inside your mind. So sing your little song If you absolutely must... BUT KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME! [Verse 2] I’ve heard it at the grocery store, I’ve heard it at the bar. I've heard it from complete strangers Who don't even know who they are. “Caroline!” Yep. That's me. “Sweet Caroline!” Yes, I know. Then somebody reaches for a hug Like we're starring in a show. Whoa, whoa, whoa— Back it up, my friend. We haven't reached the hugging part. You know my name. That's all you know. So let's establish where the boundaries start. [Pre-Chorus] You can call me Caroline, You can sing that famous line, But if your hands start heading my way... I'm gonna stop you every time. [Chorus] Sweet Caroline! STOP RIGHT THERE! I didn’t give you permission To touch me anywhere! You learned my name, Not my boundaries. You don't get automatic access to me. I might be sweet, I might be nice, But ask me first— THAT'S MY ADVICE! So sing your little song And have yourself some fun... But touching me? HELL NO, HONEY. YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THAT ONE. [Bridge — spoken, escalating] “What’s your name?” “Caroline.” “Sweet Caroline!” “Yes.” “Can I give you a hug?” ... Now THAT'S a much better question. [Breakdown] Sweet... Sweet Caroline... But sweet doesn't mean helpless. Kind doesn't mean clueless. And knowing my name... Doesn't mean you know me. [Final Chorus — huge, playful] SWEET CAROLINE! Yeah, that's my name! But don't start reaching Like we're playing the same game! You can sing the song, You can laugh with me, You can even make a joke— JUST ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME! I'm Caroline, And I'm sweet as can be... UNTIL YOU CROSS THAT LINE WITH ME! So when you hear my name, You know what to do: Sweet Caroline! I'll probably sing along too... Just remember one little thing Before you make your move— I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TOUCH ME! [Outro — spoken, deadpan] “What’s your name?” “Caroline.” “Sweet Caroline!” ... “Yeah.” “Keep your hands to yourself.”
