CH 8: transphasic funk

Ooh ooh -ooh-oooh Walked into the lift thought I was on a quest Wise sage by my side — turns out he’s just a pest! He walked right through my screen — click fizzle and it’s gone! Said “Your work is done Robert — now come along!” I said “Eternity’s what I got now, right?” He sighed and rolled his eyes — said “Don’t be smart tonight!” Said “Come with me or stay — but if you choose to stay? You’re stuck here forever — filling forms all day!” Then he pulled his hood down — and I couldn’t believe my eyes! Boy band face and model cheekbones — perfect blue sunrise! Gold rimmed glasses, stubble cool — he looked like a magazine page! I said “Death’s supposed to be scary — not this stage!” Said “I’m transphasic Bob — not a phony! You’re out of phase with the world you’ve known!” I said “I’m what now? Mate, I’m not that way inclined!” He sighed “Believe me Bob — I’m not your kind!” WE’RE WALKING THROUGH THE NULLSPACE, HOLDING HANDS AND SCREAMING LOUD! STRETCHED IN EVERY DIRECTION — BURNING LIKE WE’RE IN A CLOUD! IT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT IT FEELS LIKE HOME! I THOUGHT HEAVEN WAS CLOUDS AND A HARP AND A THRONE! BUT WE’RE WALKING THE TUNNEL, UNDERGROUND AND FREE! BOB AND OZZY — WHEREVER WE MAY BE! YEAH — WE’RE MOVING ON! Woke up in the blackness — no floor and no light Just me and Ozzy — sitting upright He said “Sorry “bout the pulling — didn’t wanna scare ya!” I dusted myself off — though there wasn’t any area Then a door appeared — dark wood and brass so fine Silver key from his pocket — way too big for the line! Said “That’s the shortcut Bob — we’re running late you see!” Opened up the door and the world changed in front of me! Tunnel made of roots and wood — lanterns glowing bright Walked for miles in silence — it felt like endless night! I pictured clouds and angels, harps and golden gates Got mineshafts and dragons — well that’s just what fate dictates! Said “This is the Everlands — where creations come to be! Unused ideas and things you couldn’t see!” I said “Is that a dragon flyin’ way up high? And what’s that tentacle thing — breathin’ green and die?!” WE’RE WALKING THROUGH THE NULLSPACE, HOLDING HANDS AND SCREAMING LOUD! STRETCHED IN EVERY DIRECTION — BURNING LIKE WE’RE IN A CLOUD! IT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT IT FEELS LIKE HOME! I THOUGHT HEAVEN WAS CLOUDS AND A HARP AND A THRONE! BUT WE’RE WALKING THE TUNNEL, UNDERGROUND AND FREE! BOB AND OZZY — WHEREVER WE MAY BE! YEAH — WE’RE MOVING ON! Sky ain’t blue — and that’s okay! Atmosphere’s the reason anyway! Heaven’s not a city in the sky — It’s a tunnel, a dragon, and a new goodbye! I thought I knew the afterlife — thought I had it planned! But I’m walking with Death — and he’s holding my hand! Yeah! — We’re moving on! WE’RE WALKING THROUGH THE NULLSPACE, HOLDING HANDS AND SCREAMING LOUD! STRETCHED IN EVERY DIRECTION — BURNING LIKE WE’RE IN A CLOUD! IT HURTS LIKE HELL BUT IT FEELS LIKE HOME! I THOUGHT HEAVEN WAS CLOUDS AND A HARP AND A THRONE! BUT WE’RE WALKING THE TUNNEL, UNDERGROUND AND FREE! BOB AND OZZY — WHEREVER WE MAY BE! YEAH — WE’RE MOVING ON! Yeah Bob — we’re moving on! Everlands bound — where we don’t belong! Ooh ooh ooh — transphasic and free! This is the afterlife — just you and me!