[Verse 1 - intimate half-sung, tight rhythmic pocket] I was learning how to live with it, Had your name filed under “done.” Not healed enough to laugh about it, Just far enough that I could run. Then somehow all that distance folded The second you were close again, And every scar I called a lesson Started sounding like “what if” instead. I knew the history between us, Knew exactly where it led. Still, knowing how the story ends Doesn’t stop you turning the page. Maybe hope makes fools of people, Maybe I was an easy bet, But I thought something had to matter If neither one of us was over it yet. [Pre-Chorus 1 - melody rising, restraint starting to crack] Somewhere between what you meant And everything you left unsaid, I kept reading hope into silence Long after I knew better in my head. [Chorus - wide melodic hook, aching full voice] I hate that I miss you, More than I know how to admit. After all the damage between us, Somehow I’m still not over it. There’s anger where the trust was, There’s love I can’t undo. I can make the case against us... [belting] God, I wish I hated you. [Verse 2 - rhythmic melodic delivery, anger underneath] I’ve replayed every conversation Till the edges all wore thin, Trying to separate what happened From the meaning I put in. Maybe I heard more than you told me, Maybe you said more than you meant, But you don’t keep finding your way back To something that was innocent. And I won’t call it all imagined Just because it couldn’t last. I won’t shrink it into nothing Just to leave it in the past. You can hurt me without meaning to, I can know that and still break. Intent doesn’t change the damage. Love doesn’t cancel what it takes. [Pre-Chorus 2 - sharper, more accusatory, building hard] Maybe you never made a promise. Maybe that’s how you sleep at night. But keeping every door half-open Doesn’t make your leaving right. [Chorus - stronger, fuller drums, vocal pushed harder] I hate that I miss you, More than I know how to admit. After all the damage between us, Somehow I’m still not over it. There’s anger where the trust was, There’s love I can’t undo. I can make the case against us... [belting, voice strained] God, I wish I hated you. [Bridge - stripped back, wounded and controlled] I wish the anger had an ending. I wish the grief would pick a side. I wish loving you felt stupid Instead of something still alive. Part of me still wants you happy. God, I fucking hate that truth. ’Cause another part still needs to know If any of this shattered you. [Build - drums returning, voice beginning to break] Not because I want revenge. Not because I want you ruined. I just need to know I mattered Half as much as you matter to me. [Shouted - explosive, raw, voice cracking] DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT COST ME TO LOSE YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT TOOK TO LET YOU GO? I WAS FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU... SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU COME BACK IF YOU WERE JUST GONNA LEAVE? [Final Pre-Chorus - sudden drop, exhausted near-whisper] I’ve tried reducing us to timing, To damage I can quantify, But every answer that should free me Falls apart when I ask why. [Final Chorus - explosive full voice, desperate not polished] I hate that I miss you. God, I hate that I still care. I hate that after everything, Some part of me still wants you here. There’s anger where the trust was, But the love survived it too. I can name every reason I should never go back to you... [Drop - instruments nearly gone] And none of them make me hate you. [Shouted - final emotional break] NONE OF THEM MAKE ME HATE YOU. [fractured, quieter] God... [full voice] I wish I hated you. [Outro - stripped acoustic, exhausted vocal] Maybe someday I won’t miss you. Maybe someday this won’t bruise. But tonight I’d trade the love I have For something easier to lose. [near-whisper] I hate that I miss you. [voice breaking] God, I wish I hated you.
