[Intro: barrel-chested bellowing male lead, over one trumpet and the snare] Ladies, gentlemen and cousins, and the man who owns the bank Thirty-one years of Gregor's, and tonight we empty out the tank [Verse 1: barrel-chested bellowing male lead, the whole brass band roaring in] Eight months behind on rent, and the letters come in red So I painted on the window, big as life, and here is what it said Then I called the Moravec brothers, trumpet, tuba, clarinet Said, "Play me out of business, play the loudest that you get" I'm up on a milk crate in the doorway with a bullhorn I don't need 'Cause the voice that called the goats home now is callin' Second Street Seven o'clock it's twenty off, and the neighbors stop and stare Eight o'clock it's forty off, and a lady buys a chair [Hook: barrel-chested bellowing male lead, the brass stomping on every line] Everything must go, the lamps, the rugs, the chairs Everything must go, the mirror on the stairs Everything must go, my friend, the price is fallin' fast Everything must go, but I'm the thing that's gonna last [Verse 2: bellowing, the clarinet running wild] Nine o'clock it's half price, and the line goes round the block And the brass is bouncin' off the bricks, and even the cop begins to rock Ten o'clock it's seventy, and the rugs fly out like birds And the lamps go out the door still lit, and I'm hollerin' out the words Eleven, it's a dollar, and I'm sellin' off the stool And the coat rack and the ladder and the jar of rusty tools And the cash box is so full I gotta sit on it to close And the tuba player's sweatin', and the clarinet just goes [Hook: the brass stomping on every line] Everything must go, the lamps, the rugs, the chairs Everything must go, the mirror on the stairs Everything must go, my friend, the price is fallin' fast Everything must go, but I'm the thing that's gonna last [Verse 3: barrel-chested bellowing male lead, half-shouted joy] Midnight, and the shop is bare, just the boards, the dust and me And I count it on the counter, and I count it one, two, three Two years' rent in twenties, and the landlord's at the door So I pay him in a paper bag and say, "Go count it on the floor" One A.M. I'm at the warehouse with the van and all the cash Buyin' rugs and lamps and mirrors till the forklift's out of gas Eight A.M. I'm on the ladder with a paintbrush and a pail Paintin' "Grand Reopenin'" on the glass, and right below it, "Sale" [Final Hook: accelerando, the brass band speeding up bar by bar to the last line] Everything must go, the lamps, the rugs, the chairs Everything must go, the mirror on the stairs Everything must go, my friend, the price is fallin' fast Everything must go, but I'm the thing that's gonna last [End]
