[Intro: Announcer] In the left corner, in a powdered wig and tails In the right corner, in a flannel shirt that never fails Let the battle begin [Verse 1: Classical] Good evening, young fellow, do comb your hair You look as if you slept in a laundry chair I play in grand halls with chandeliers bright You play in a garage with one dodgy light [Verse 2: Grunge] Whatever, dude, your wig smells old Your violin squeaks like a mouse with a cold I got three chords and a broken amp And a flannel shirt that's slightly damp [Verse 3: Classical] My symphony lasts for an hour or more You play two minutes then fall on the floor I sip my tea with my pinky raised You mumble so much the crowd's amazed [Verse 4: Grunge] Yeah, I mumble, but the kids all scream Your audience naps like it's all a dream Turn up the fuzz, let the feedback ring Hey, posh boy, can you even sing... loud [Bridge: Both] Violin Fuzz Bravo Meh Wait, old chap, that riff's quite good [Final Chorus: Mashup] Strings and static, side by side Wig and flannel, let it ride Cello crying, guitars on fire Grunge symphony takes us higher [Outro: Announcer] And the winner is... the slightly confused audience
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