The Harlem Globetrotters Slept With My Wife While I Sat In The Chair

[Verse 1] I bought six tickets from a man by the gate Said, “Bring your lady, son, don’t be late” They came to town with a whistle and a grin Spinning that ball like trouble rolling in [Verse 2] My wife wore perfume and her good Sunday hair I wore suspenders and sat in my chair She said, “Ain’t they talented, ain’t they so fine?” I said, “Honey, pass the nachos, you’re blocking the sign” [Pre-Chorus] Then one winked left and one bounced right I felt real small by halftime night [Chorus] The Globetrotters stole my wife While I sat in the chair They spun that ball around And I just sat there [Post-Chorus] Round and round, over my head I should’ve gone fishing instead [Verse 3] One did a layup from the popcorn stand One shook my wife’s little delicate hand One signed a program across her knee Then bounced the ball off the back of me [Verse 4] I said, “Now fellas, that’s a little too much” They passed my complaint with a no-look touch My wife was laughing like she’d won a prize I sat there blinking with mustard in my eyes [Pre-Chorus] The ref blew once and the crowd went wild I felt like a folding chair’s only child [Chorus] The Globetrotters stole my wife While I sat in the chair They spun that ball around And I just sat there [Post-Chorus] Round and round, over my head I should’ve gone fishing instead [Verse 5] They formed a circle by section B Then everybody pointed directly at me One said, “Sir, would you like to play?” I said, “Not dressed this way” [Verse 6] They handed me a ball and it slipped from my grip Hit my soda, hit my chips Hit my shoe, hit aisle thirteen Then rolled right back to the basketball queen [Pre-Chorus] My wife said, “Baby, bless your heart” That’s when my evening fell apart [Chorus] The Globetrotters stole my wife While I sat in the chair They spun that ball around And I just sat there [Post-Chorus] Round and round, over my head I should’ve gone fishing instead [Bridge] Sweet whistle blowing Big shoes squeak I lost my pride By the nacho leak [Chorus] The Globetrotters stole my wife While I sat in the chair They spun that ball around And I just sat there The Globetrotters stole my wife With a bounce and a stare She left with a jersey I left with the chair [Outro] Now I don’t watch basketball Don’t sit front row anywhere Every time I hear a whistle I grip that folding chair