(Intro – upbeat, tight rhythm) Welcome back! Today we’ll learn How not to accidentally… ⸻ Verse 1 (cheerful, instructional tone) Don’t mix bleach with lemonade Don’t text and drift across four lanes Don’t microwave a fork for fun Don’t taunt a hive just to outrun Don’t live-stream from a cliff-edge view Don’t pet the “friendly” kangaroo Don’t build a throne of dynamite And light a match to check the height ⸻ Pre-Chorus (shift darker, tension rising) Every headline starts the same “Local legend misjudged flame…” Every warning label screams “We tried to tell you what this means…” ⸻ Chorus (fast, punchy, distorted) There’s a gazillion ways to die So I’m just trying to get by Duck and cover, don’t be brave Natural selection wants a name There’s a gazillion ways to go Slip too high or sink too low I’m not looking for a prize Just surviving modern times ⸻ Verse 2 (cheerful but sharper satire) Don’t challenge strangers to a dare Don’t Google symptoms if you care Don’t argue with a comment thread You’ll lose your mind before you’re dead Don’t finance dreams with borrowed hype Don’t drink the glow of neon light Don’t trust a chart that only climbs Don’t treat red flags like Valentine’s ⸻ Pre-Chorus (darker than first) Every empire starts to rot Every genius overthought Every fool once said, “I’m fine…” Five seconds before the headline ⸻ Chorus (bigger, louder, crowd energy) There’s a gazillion ways to die So I’m just staying low-profile Tie my shoes and check the stove Keep my ego out the road There’s a gazillion fatal spins I don’t need to “win the internet” again If I make it through the night That’s my Darwin Award denied ⸻ Bridge (half-time, darker, eerie organ) Maybe the trick is boring grace Seatbelt heart, steady pace Maybe glory’s just a trap With fireworks and a collapse (whisper layered) Just… don’t be stupid… ⸻ Final Chorus (biggest, chaotic, triumphant tone) There’s a gazillion ways to die But I’m still here and that’s a vibe No viral blaze, no tragic fame Just breathing without a claim There’s a gazillion flashing signs And I read between the lines If survival’s uncool, that’s fine I’ll live to see tomorrow’s headline ⸻ Outro (fast chaotic crash) (Guitars bend upward Drums accelerate Organ stab Hard crash ending)
