[Intro] What's goin' on?! Why they always sayin' the same thing! yayayayayayaya! Kick it up, kick it up! [Verse 1] Every gyal I rate says, “Nah, babes, I’m into girls” Whole room turns rainbow when I step into the world Can’t be my chat, my chat’s elite, my patter’s got curves Must be some mad little glitch in the nerves I say, “You’re looking nice,” she says, “So’s my wife” Peak little plot twist, ruining my life Mandem are laughing, saying, “Bro, take the hint” I’m like, “Shut up, prick, this is government linked” MI5 in the toilets, Ofcom in the bar Turning birds into birds just to humble my arse Can’t be the puffer, the puffer’s certi Can’t be the tooth, that’s personality, surely Can’t be the smell, I sprayed half the can That’s Lynx and ambition, that’s called being a man They say, “I like women,” I say, “Same, that’s mad” Then somehow I’m still the villain, and that’s quite sad [Chorus] (All the birds I like like birds) That’s suspicious, mark my words Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) She likes girls, she likes girls Whole damn ends full of girls liking girls Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) [Verse 2] I’m playing the race card, bruv, even if we’re same race This is prejudice against my whole face Every time I smile, they start forming a union Lesbian by committee, that’s the conclusion I’m not rejected, I’m statistically cursed Cupid saw me coming and put the car in reverse They call it preference, I call it fraud How you got taste but you ain’t got applause? [Chorus] (All the birds I like like birds) That’s suspicious, mark my words Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) She likes girls, she likes girls Whole damn ends full of girls liking girls Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) [Bridge] I nearly clocked it once, standing there sober Had a hard little thought tapping me on the shoulder It said, “Bruv, there’s one thing all this has in common” I said, “Yeah, the whole world’s moving rotten” It said, “Look at the pattern, look at the facts” I said, “Exactly, it’s a coordinated attack” It said, “Every time you move, they move further away” I said, “That’s fear of success, what else can I say?” It said, “Bro, listen, you’re coming on strong” I said, “Strong is correct, so how can it be wrong?” It said, “You’re shouting in faces with lager breath confidence” I said, “That’s working-class charm with cultural competence” It said, “They don’t owe you nothing, not even a glance” I said, “True, but explain all the lesbians in advance” It said, “You are so close,” I said, “Yeah, I can see” The real problem’s birds having standards too high for me [Final Chorus] (All the birds I like like birds) That’s suspicious, mark my words Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) She likes girls, she likes girls Whole damn ends full of girls liking girls Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) (All the birds I like like birds) That’s suspicious, mark my words Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) She likes girls, she likes girls Whole damn ends full of girls liking girls Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) [Outro] All the birds I like like birds (All the birds I like like birds) That’s suspicious, mark my words (All the birds I like like birds) Can’t be me, that’s so absurd (All the birds I like like birds) Every single one (All the birds I like like birds) Can’t be me Yeah, all the birds I like like birds
