WHAT STAYED

Found it under spare cables in a box I never marked Black paper gone soft at the corners silver dust across the dark Nova laughing by the van door Kade asleep against an amp Me pretending not to notice someone caught me in the frame There was Lyra with her sticks crossed behind her neck beneath the light Lucien halfway in the doorway already listening to the night Vanta staring past the camera like she planned to disappear All of us inside one cheap shot before leaving had a price I ran my thumb across the faces felt the paper start to bend Some things don’t survive you Some things refuse to end Rust on the rail dust in the grain A blown-out chord still holding our names I thought I left that whole life alone But every page kept dragging it home No clean return no debt fully paid The shape I left and what stayed One shot outside the rehearsal room rain turning coats nearly black Someone wrote last show underneath it We never knew which one they meant Kade had coffee on the console Nova had blood upon her sleeve I had one boot through the doorway making leaving look easy There were rooms we nearly ruined songs we buried under noise Every photograph looked peaceful because photographs have no voice But I remember every argument every silence after sound How I used to stare down at my feet and mutter at the ground I said the band was just a building I said I only left a room Then an old picture proved I had taken all of you Rust on the rail dust in the grain A blown-out chord still holding our names I thought I left that whole life alone But every page kept dragging it home No clean return no debt fully paid The shape I left and what stayed I used to stare at my boots like the floor could keep a secret Used to think silence meant nobody could reach it Now the afternoon sun cuts straight through the room Hits every face in that album and wakes up the dust We looked alive Maybe that was enough I closed the book then opened it again Not looking for forgiveness Not trying to be friends No reunion in the kitchen No grand return to stage Just proof that we were really there before we turned the page I still hear the train line beyond the factory wall Same iron rhythm underneath every rise and every fall It does not make me whole It does not make things right It only keeps the old names moving through another night Rust on the rail dust in the grain A blown-out chord still holding our names I thought I left that whole life alone But every page kept dragging it home No clean return no debt fully paid The shape I left and what stayed I kept the album That’s all