Side Effects (Of Staying Alive)

SIDE EFFECTS OF STAYING ALIVE ⸻ [Verse 1] They said it gets better, just give it some time Like time’s something I can hold onto tonight I learned how to function without feeling much Now I don’t know the difference between healing and numb ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Every “I’m okay” sounds a little rehearsed Like I’m trying to convince myself first ⸻ [Chorus ] These are just the side effects of staying alive Shaking hands, heavy head, barely getting by If this is what healing is, why do I feel deprived? Just a little less dead every night I survive ⸻ [Verse 2] I keep all my habits like they’re keeping me safe Every bad decision dressed up as a way To quiet the noise that won’t leave me alone I built a whole life out of coping and hope ⸻ [Pre-Chorus 2] They say, “Look how far you’ve come” I just think how far I still have to run ⸻ [Chorus] These are just the side effects of staying alive Shaking hands, heavy head, barely getting by If this is what healing is, why do I feel deprived? Just a little less dead every night I survive ⸻ [POST-CHORUS] (distant, almost detached) Less dead… still not alive ⸻ [BRIDGE] (strip it down — almost spoken) I thought getting better would feel like relief Not like I’m carrying versions of me (low pulse enters) The one who was reckless, the one who was numb The one who still wonders what I could’ve become (build) You call this progress I call it pain just organized differently with a better name (final push — raw, breaking) If I’m still hurting but I’m still here— does that mean I’m healing or just learning how to disappear? ⸻ [FINAL CHORUS] These are just the side effects of staying alive Shaking hands, heavy head, barely getting by If this is what healing is, I don’t feel revived Just a little less dead every night I survive (layered echo) Every night I survive… ⸻ [OUTRO] (bare, almost no music) They said it gets better… I’m still waiting… And… Waiting.