[Verse 1] The house is completely dark, the world is asleep But I’m in the sheets and I'm deep in the creep My screen is glowing, a bright blue hue My brain is fried, it is quarter to two I don't need a jacket, I don’t need a vest But the algorithm knows how to test my rest It shows me a gadget, a marvel of chrome A tiny device to bring peace to my home. [Pre-Chorus] My logical mind has turned off for the night My thumb is hovering right in the light The shipping is free if I spend twenty more So I’m scanning the digital aisles of the store. [Chorus] Because I added to cart at three AM! I bought a giant inflatable, life-sized yam! I don’t know why, and I don’t know how But it's processing now, yes, it's processing now. A set of night-vision goggles for cats And a localized radar for locating bats My bank account’s crying, my sanity's thin The packages arrive... when tomorrow begins! [Verse 2] The sun comes up, the birds start to sing The delivery truck makes a beautiful ring I open the cardboard, I rip through the tape To look at the items that altered my fate There's a laser pointer shaped like a fish And a historical, medieval soup-serving dish I bought an accordion made out of tin And a manual on how to talk to a penguin. [Bridge] (Tempo drops. A dramatic, slow-jam saxophone solo plays to emphasize the deep financial regret) Why did I buy thirty pounds of dried dill? Why did I think I could build a windmill? I don’t even own a backyard or a lawn But the deal looked so sweet right before the dawn. Chorus Because I added to cart at three AM! I bought a custom-made portrait of Abraham Riding a unicycle through a mall It's taking up half of my living room wall. A professional set of industrial gears And a massive supply of fake elf ears My bank account’s crying, my sanity's thin The packages arrive... when tomorrow begins! [Outro] (The music fades out into the distance as a solitary keyboard click echoes) Your order has shipped. Estimated delivery: Thursday. Track your package... (Whispered dramatically) Track your package. Processing Now! ···©️ 2026 Swami Records ··· Lyrics/Syles by Swami Dave
