Di Bucket Boat Mutiny

[fast pirate metal intro, accordion hook, gang shouts, stomping drums, distorted guitars, ridiculous tavern energy] [Intro] Oi! Raise di sail! Di sail fall down. Raise it again! Di mast gone brown. [Verse 1] [raspy patois lead vocal, fast palm-muted guitars, bouncy accordion] We set sail pon a Tuesday night, captain drunk an’ di moon too bright. Compass point to di nearest rum, ship go “crack” an’ di rats say “run!” Cook inna barrel, goat inna hat, parrot start preachin’ like diplomat. First mate shout, “We attack at dawn!” But di cannon only fire popcorn. [Pre-Chorus] [short build, pirate gang vocals] No gold. No map. No plan. No shame. [Chorus] [big gang chorus, fast pirate metal, stomping tavern chant] Bucket boat! We nah sink, we descend wid style! Bucket boat! Bilge water sweet like crocodile! Rum gone missing, captain cry, parrot fly off wid di reason why. Bucket boat! Worst damn crew pon di sea! [Verse 2] [faster drums, absurd backing shouts] Di kraken come up, look pon we face, turn right back to a quieter place. Mermaid laugh till she lose her shell, “Dis no curse — dis administrative hell!” Sailor Bob try to row with a spoon, claim him cousin is di man in di moon. Deckhand Pete got swallowed by foam, send postcard say, “I live there now.” [Bridge] [breakdown, accordion riff, shouted call-and-response] Who stole di rum? — Di goat! Who broke di boat? — Di goat! Who made di captain marry a trout? — Probably goat! Throw goat out! [goat bleats over blast beat] [Final Chorus] [bigger gang vocals, double-time drums, chaotic pirate party] Bucket boat! We nah sink, we descend wid style! Bucket boat! Bilge water sweet like crocodile! Rum gone missing, pants gone too, captain wearin’ only one left shoe. Bucket boat! Worst damn crew pon di sea! [Outro] [drunken gang shouts, accordion collapse, cymbal choke] No fans! No gold! No clue! Still loud! [ship snaps in half, final gang shout]