I ask for one straight line You hand me a riddle Like I’m at Delphi With a queue in the middle You say, “We hear you” Then you don’t say much Just a maze in a suit And a very soft touch I wanted yes or no I got “it depends” A poem in a box With ten tiny ends I read it twice Then I read it again Somehow the answer Got more vague with every scan You say: “We’ll look into it” That’s a mystical art Now I need a map Just to find the start May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! I need one clear word Not a fourteen-part tease May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! Online, I type politely With my best little smile You send me a loop And a hold-for-a-while “Can you clarify?” Sure, I can, for days But every new answer Just changes the maze I ask, “Is it fixed?” You say: “We value your patience” That’s not a solution That’s a decorative sentence And “thanks for reaching out” Is a lovely refrain But I need the door Not the wallpaper frame I’m staring at the screen Like, what do you mean? Is this support Or an abstract machine? You say: “We’re here to help” In a very nice tone So I’m here to help myself By asking the throne May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! I need one clear word Not a fourteen-part tease May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! I don’t need magic I don’t need lore I don’t need a puzzle At the customer store I need “yes,” I need “no” I need “here’s what to do” I need someone alive With a pulse and a clue May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! I need one clear word Not a fourteen-part tease May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!! If answers are silver Then this is fool’s gold If clarity’s a doorway Mine’s always been told So I’ll keep my cool Till I’m down to my knees And ask one last time: «May I speak to a HUMAN… PLEASE?!!»
