"Take This Sleigh and Shove It (I Ain’t Workin’ Here No More)"

Outlaw-Country-pop/Christmas fusion rock with twangy guitar, sleigh bells backbeat, jovial male vocals, ad-libs, with honky-tonk piano, crunchin’ Telecaster twang, barroom fiddle, gritty bass

V3.5

[INTRO – GRUMBLY, HALF-TIPSY BARROOM DELIVERY]:
[spoken, Male vocal, booming, jovial, defiant]
“Yeah, I’ve had it. I’m done. No more cookies, no more lists. If I see another elf, I swear…”
sleigh bell shakes violently
“This one goes out to the Claus that cracked.”

[VERSE 1]:
Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t workin’ here no more,
Mrs. Claus been naggin’ since I walked back through that door.
Them reindeer never listen, that Vixen’s startin’ fights—
And Rudolph’s got a nose so bright, but he’s high on cocoa nights.

I’m sick of tiny hammers, and glitter in my beard,
The elves all unionized this year, and things got real weird.
Used to love this holly jolly, now it’s just a chore—
Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t doin’ this no more!
[Ad-libs, chuckled]: “Ho ho, nope!”

[CHORUS – FULL BAND, JINGLE-TWANGY & FED UP]:
Shove it, I’m done! Deck the halls with resignation!
Put my boots up, pour the rum, skip the obligation.
You can keep your cookies, your carols, and decor—
Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t doin’ this no more!
[Ad-libs, growled]: “Jingle that!”

[VERSE 2]:
The North Pole’s outta magic, morale's a frozen shell,
We maxed the toy budget back in June and cut staff as well.
Them letters all demandin’, them chimney flues too tight—
And every year the mileage grows, but I still work one night.

The sled's got no insurance, the reindeer broke my hip,
I slipped on some black ice, and now I walk with a limp.
The snow don’t sparkle like it did before—
Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t flyin’ anymore!
[Ad-libs, shouted]: “Ho, I’m out!”

[CHORUS – ANGSTIER, BIGGER, TINSEL-DRUNK]:
Shove it, I'm out! Hang my hat by the fire!
Let the next red-suited fool get buried in the mire.
I've given all I had since 1844—
Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain't doin’ this no more!
[Ad-libs, belted]: “Merry no more!”

[BRIDGE – SPOKEN, DEEP & RASPY]:
“I got a letter from a kid askin’ for a PS9, what even is that?
I miss the days of Lincoln Logs and quiet nights...”
sleigh bells hit like cymbals
“I'm takin’ Christmas off, baby.”

[FINAL CHORUS]:
Shove it, I quit! No more sugarcoatin’ this lie!
All your merry, cheery spirit—give it to the next guy.
Let Frosty take the wheel or Jack Frost at the fore—
Take this sleigh and shove it…
I ain’t doin’ this… NO MORE!
[Ad-libs, hummed]: “Ho ho, free!”

[OUTRO]:
“Merry quit-mas, ya filthy animals…”

2995/7500

[Music and Vocals]: [Country-pop/Christmas rock at 132 BPM, with twangy electric guitar, driving drums, deep bass, warm piano, festive sleigh bells, pompous horns, dramatic strings, for a bold, vibe. Guitar riffs for grit, drums kick for energy, bass thumps for groove, piano rolls for warmth, sleigh bells jingle for cheer, horns blare for pomp, strings swell for drama. Music shifts: gritty for rebellion, festive for holiday peaks, soft for resolution. Male vocals, booming and jovial, deliver defiant lines across five verses, with ad-libs as hearty chuckles, evoking Santa’s spirit and Christmas-rock fusion.] [INTRO – GRUMBLY, HALF-TIPSY BARROOM DELIVERY]: [spoken, Male vocal, booming, jovial, defiant] “Yeah, I’ve had it. I’m done. No more cookies, no more lists. If I see another elf, I swear…” sleigh bell shakes violently “This one goes out to the Claus that cracked.” [VERSE 1]: Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t workin’ here no more, Mrs. Claus been naggin’ since I walked back through that door. Them reindeer never listen, that Vixen’s startin’ fights— And Rudolph’s got a nose so bright, but he’s high on cocoa nights. I’m sick of tiny hammers, and glitter in my beard, The elves all unionized this year, and things got real weird. Used to love this holly jolly, now it’s just a chore— Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t doin’ this no more! [Ad-libs, chuckled]: “Ho ho, nope!” [CHORUS – FULL BAND, JINGLE-TWANGY & FED UP]: Shove it, I’m done! Deck the halls with resignation! Put my boots up, pour the rum, skip the obligation. You can keep your cookies, your carols, and decor— Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t doin’ this no more! [Ad-libs, growled]: “Jingle that!” [VERSE 2]: The North Pole’s outta magic, morale's a frozen shell, We maxed the toy budget back in June and cut staff as well. Them letters all demandin’, them chimney flues too tight— And every year the mileage grows, but I still work one night. The sled's got no insurance, the reindeer broke my hip, I slipped on some black ice, and now I walk with a limp. The snow don’t sparkle like it did before— Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain’t flyin’ anymore! [Ad-libs, shouted]: “Ho, I’m out!” [CHORUS – ANGSTIER, BIGGER, TINSEL-DRUNK]: Shove it, I'm out! Hang my hat by the fire! Let the next red-suited fool get buried in the mire. I've given all I had since 1844— Take this sleigh and shove it, I ain't doin’ this no more! [Ad-libs, belted]: “Merry no more!” [BRIDGE – SPOKEN, DEEP & RASPY]: “I got a letter from a kid askin’ for a PS9, what even is that? I miss the days of Lincoln Logs and quiet nights...” sleigh bells hit like cymbals “I'm takin’ Christmas off, baby.” [FINAL CHORUS]: Shove it, I quit! No more sugarcoatin’ this lie! All your merry, cheery spirit—give it to the next guy. Let Frosty take the wheel or Jack Frost at the fore— Take this sleigh and shove it… I ain’t doin’ this… NO MORE! [Ad-libs, hummed]: “Ho ho, free!” [OUTRO]: “Merry quit-mas, ya filthy animals…”

0/500