You Keep Lyin' To A Good Dog

gritty baritone blues shouter, soulful gospel-influenced jazz vocalist, smoky 1950s jazz club performance, Chicago blues phrasing, expressive growls, vocal grit, slight rasp, behind-the-beat swing timing, call and response with horns, include all jazz instruments and even some electric guitar riffs like a bb king song

[Live performance in a small smoky jazz club, audience chatter, glasses clinking]

[Band warming up, horns softly tuning]

[Intro – spoken, relaxed]
Alright… alright…
We’re gonna address a situation tonight.
I been a good boy.
Y’all been full of shit.

[Drums count off, medium swing begins]

[Verse 1 – light swing, sarcastic]
You shake the jar — I come in hot
Cross the whole house like a cannon shot
Perfect sit, tail tight and neat
I did my job — now pay the treat

You scratch my ears, call me “the best”
Then walk away like you passed a test
No biscuit, no chew, not even a bite
You just lied to a dog lookin’ you dead in the eyes

[Horn sting]

[Chorus – horns answering]
Don’t say treat if you ain’t got food
That’s emotional fraud, that’s a bait-and-ruse
I trusted your word, I came when you said
Now I’m standin’ here hungry and pissed instead

[Short horn riff]

[Verse 2 – more energy, irritated]
Then comes “be right back” — oh here we go
I escort you out, professional show
I take my post by the front door mat
I guard this house like a damn combat

Ten minutes… fine
One hour… okay
Three hours later — what the hell, man, hey
I barked at trucks, I interrogated air
I protected a pillow that wasn’t even there

You walk back in like nothin’ was wrong
I been on duty the whole damn long

[Horn hits after each line]

[Chorus – louder]
You call it errands, I call it lies
I watched the sun cross both sides of the sky
I skipped two naps and a scheduled bark
Holdin’ security down in the dark

[Band break — drums and bass only]

[Verse 3 – frustrated, faster phrasing]
Then you say words I want to believe
“Charlie, car ride!” — I instantly leave
I load myself, I’m ready to roll
Wind in my ears, freedom in my soul

But this ain’t the park, this ain’t no trail
This building smells medically stale
Cold table, bright light, stainless set —
are you kidding me… you took my ass to the vet?!

[Big horn stab]

They check my teeth, they check my rear
A stranger’s hands where they shouldn’t be near
You stand there smilin’ sayin’ “you’re fine”
Ma’am I have been set up this whole time

[Sax Solo – energetic swing, 8 bars]

[Bridge – spoken, band very quiet]
Treat lie.
Door lie.
Car ride lie.

That’s three counts.
I am no longer calm.

[Band slowly builds back in]

[Final Chorus – full band, strong horns]
I got trust issues, yeah damn right
Every promise you make ends in a fight
“Snack,” “right back,” “ride,” “let’s go”
Every one a setup, now I know

I guard your couch, your rug, your bed
I bark at danger inside my head
I give you loyalty solid and true
And you keep runnin’ psychological ops on me, dude

[Horn accents]

I swear I’m done — I won’t fall again…
…but you open cheese and I forgive you then.

[Band stops]

[Outro – spoken softly]
I’m mad as hell…
but I still love you.

Just stop lyin’ about the damn treats.

[Soft piano ending, audience laughter and applause]

2894/7500

[Live performance in a small smoky jazz club, audience chatter, glasses clinking] [Band warming up, horns softly tuning] [Intro – spoken, relaxed] Alright… alright… We’re gonna address a situation tonight. I been a good boy. Y’all been full of shit. [Drums count off, medium swing begins] [Verse 1 – light swing, sarcastic] You shake the jar — I come in hot Cross the whole house like a cannon shot Perfect sit, tail tight and neat I did my job — now pay the treat You scratch my ears, call me “the best” Then walk away like you passed a test No biscuit, no chew, not even a bite You just lied to a dog lookin’ you dead in the eyes [Horn sting] [Chorus – horns answering] Don’t say treat if you ain’t got food That’s emotional fraud, that’s a bait-and-ruse I trusted your word, I came when you said Now I’m standin’ here hungry and pissed instead [Short horn riff] [Verse 2 – more energy, irritated] Then comes “be right back” — oh here we go I escort you out, professional show I take my post by the front door mat I guard this house like a damn combat Ten minutes… fine One hour… okay Three hours later — what the hell, man, hey I barked at trucks, I interrogated air I protected a pillow that wasn’t even there You walk back in like nothin’ was wrong I been on duty the whole damn long [Horn hits after each line] [Chorus – louder] You call it errands, I call it lies I watched the sun cross both sides of the sky I skipped two naps and a scheduled bark Holdin’ security down in the dark [Band break — drums and bass only] [Verse 3 – frustrated, faster phrasing] Then you say words I want to believe “Charlie, car ride!” — I instantly leave I load myself, I’m ready to roll Wind in my ears, freedom in my soul But this ain’t the park, this ain’t no trail This building smells medically stale Cold table, bright light, stainless set — are you kidding me… you took my ass to the vet?! [Big horn stab] They check my teeth, they check my rear A stranger’s hands where they shouldn’t be near You stand there smilin’ sayin’ “you’re fine” Ma’am I have been set up this whole time [Sax Solo – energetic swing, 8 bars] [Bridge – spoken, band very quiet] Treat lie. Door lie. Car ride lie. That’s three counts. I am no longer calm. [Band slowly builds back in] [Final Chorus – full band, strong horns] I got trust issues, yeah damn right Every promise you make ends in a fight “Snack,” “right back,” “ride,” “let’s go” Every one a setup, now I know I guard your couch, your rug, your bed I bark at danger inside my head I give you loyalty solid and true And you keep runnin’ psychological ops on me, dude [Horn accents] I swear I’m done — I won’t fall again… …but you open cheese and I forgive you then. [Band stops] [Outro – spoken softly] I’m mad as hell… but I still love you. Just stop lyin’ about the damn treats. [Soft piano ending, audience laughter and applause]

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