Diet Starts Monday

pop r b Pop, R&B, Funk, Soul style 24k magic funky groove upbeat playful energy smooth charming male vocalist punchy brass hits funky electric guitar tight snare groovy bassline bpm 105 110 retro modern funk aesthetic zero remorse protagonist comedic confident delivery sarcastic self aware humor silky smooth verses with effortless flow catchy singalong chorus layered background vocals on hook with call and response spoken word intro with casual confessional tone slower sincere bridge breaking into upbeat energy unhinged confident outro fading smoothly bright horn stabs punctuating punchlines glossy polished production 2020s funk pop aesthetic danceable rhythm throughout light percussion fills between bars theatrical but effortless vocal performance no autotune warm vibrant mix feel good atmosphere despite complete lack of discipline charismatic unapologetic tone throughout

V5.5

Look…
I had a plan.
A very good plan.
…It's Thursday.
The plan starts Monday.
It always starts Monday.

Woke up feeling righteous, had my water and my oats
Googled clean eating recipes, saved about forty posts
Told myself today's the day, no sugar, no bread
Then somebody brought donuts and… well, you know how that went

Ate one. Then two. Then three — it was free
Somebody made them homemade bro, who am I to disagree?
Checked my fitness app, logged zero — closed it fast
Today was a trial run, the real thing starts Monday at last

Lunch came around, I ordered the salad — I swear
But the burger looked so lonely sitting right there
Just this once, I said, just this once and no more
Then they asked about dessert and I said what's on the floor

Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday
Tonight we celebrate, pass the bread my way
Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday
Sunday night I'll meal prep — okay maybe not okay
Oh oh oh — it's only Thursday
Four more days of living like there's no tomorrow, hey
Diet starts Monday — wooooh
And Monday is still very far away

Saturday rolled around, someone's having a party
Can't count calories at a party, that'd be heartless, hardly
The polite thing to do is eat what they offer
I'm a guest, not a monk, I'll restart Monday, I'm softer

Sunday morning, fresh start energy is high
Opened up the fridge and let me tell you, oh my
Leftovers from the party still looking real good
Waste not want not — that's a value, understood

Meal prepped in my head — very detailed, very clean
Chicken, rice and broccoli, leanest you've ever seen
Mentally prepped it while eating cereal straight from the box
The intention was there bro, that's what really counts, that rocks

…You know what, I've been doing this for a while
And I've noticed something important
Every Monday I start fresh
Every Tuesday I'm doing great
Every Wednesday I'm doing okay
Every Thursday…
someone brings donuts.
It's always Thursday.
…
I think Thursday is the problem.
Not me.
Thursday.

Monday arrived, I woke up feeling brand new
Lemon water, no sugar, the whole breakfast debut
Made it to noon — a personal record, no lie
Then somebody said "let's do lunch" and I said why not, I'm alive

Ordered grilled chicken — then added the fries
Because protein needs carbs, that's just science, alright?
Got home feeling balanced, feeling healthy, feeling blessed
Checked the scale — don't look at the scale, forget the rest

Tuesday's the new Monday, I've decided today
Fresh start energy, new week mentality, okay?
Or maybe next Monday, the first of the month
A round number start date just hits different, I've found

Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday
Oh oh oh — or the first of the month
Oh oh oh — or after the holidays
Oh oh oh — or when life calms down enough
Diet starts Monday — wooooh

…I'm getting tacos.
…It's Thursday.
…It's always Thursday.

3137/7500

Look… I had a plan. A very good plan. …It's Thursday. The plan starts Monday. It always starts Monday. Woke up feeling righteous, had my water and my oats Googled clean eating recipes, saved about forty posts Told myself today's the day, no sugar, no bread Then somebody brought donuts and… well, you know how that went Ate one. Then two. Then three — it was free Somebody made them homemade bro, who am I to disagree? Checked my fitness app, logged zero — closed it fast Today was a trial run, the real thing starts Monday at last Lunch came around, I ordered the salad — I swear But the burger looked so lonely sitting right there Just this once, I said, just this once and no more Then they asked about dessert and I said what's on the floor Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday Tonight we celebrate, pass the bread my way Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday Sunday night I'll meal prep — okay maybe not okay Oh oh oh — it's only Thursday Four more days of living like there's no tomorrow, hey Diet starts Monday — wooooh And Monday is still very far away Saturday rolled around, someone's having a party Can't count calories at a party, that'd be heartless, hardly The polite thing to do is eat what they offer I'm a guest, not a monk, I'll restart Monday, I'm softer Sunday morning, fresh start energy is high Opened up the fridge and let me tell you, oh my Leftovers from the party still looking real good Waste not want not — that's a value, understood Meal prepped in my head — very detailed, very clean Chicken, rice and broccoli, leanest you've ever seen Mentally prepped it while eating cereal straight from the box The intention was there bro, that's what really counts, that rocks Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday Tonight we celebrate, pass the bread my way Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday Sunday night I'll meal prep — okay maybe not okay Oh oh oh — it's only Thursday Four more days of living like there's no tomorrow, hey Diet starts Monday — wooooh And Monday is still very far away …You know what, I've been doing this for a while And I've noticed something important Every Monday I start fresh Every Tuesday I'm doing great Every Wednesday I'm doing okay Every Thursday… someone brings donuts. It's always Thursday. … I think Thursday is the problem. Not me. Thursday. Monday arrived, I woke up feeling brand new Lemon water, no sugar, the whole breakfast debut Made it to noon — a personal record, no lie Then somebody said "let's do lunch" and I said why not, I'm alive Ordered grilled chicken — then added the fries Because protein needs carbs, that's just science, alright? Got home feeling balanced, feeling healthy, feeling blessed Checked the scale — don't look at the scale, forget the rest Tuesday's the new Monday, I've decided today Fresh start energy, new week mentality, okay? Or maybe next Monday, the first of the month A round number start date just hits different, I've found Oh oh oh — diet starts Monday Oh oh oh — or the first of the month Oh oh oh — or after the holidays Oh oh oh — or when life calms down enough Diet starts Monday — wooooh …I'm getting tacos. …It's Thursday. …It's always Thursday.

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