A Little More of Someone Else

[Verse 1 — low piano, almost whispered] I woke up with a stranger's breath Still warm inside my chest, And memories without a name That wouldn't let me rest. There's a rhythm in my heartbeat I don't remember learnin' well; And every time I look inside, There's a little more someone else. The mirror knows my features, Sure, the eyes are mine as well; But there's somethin' in the way they look I don't know how to tell. Like somebody's behind 'em, Lookin' out and wishin' me well— Or waitin' for me to look away. [Pre-Chorus — acoustic guitar enters] They told me comin' back was mercy. Ah, Christ, I used to think so too. But what if every time I find my way home Somethin' else comes with me through? [Chorus] I'm a little less the girl I was, A little more someone else; Carryin' echoes in my blood I never put there myself. There's a fire where the hurt was, There's a hunger where I fell; And I'm terrified to feed it— But I'm more afraid I will. I'm a little less afraid now, A little harder to break as well; A little less of who I used to be... A little more someone else. [Verse 2 — darker acoustic rhythm] There was somethin' I was holdin', Somethin' almost mine to keep; Now sometimes I wake reachin' For a shape beside me in my sleep. There's an empty little future That I never got to know; And grief's a funny thing, love— It aches for where it cannot go. So I carry round the silence Of a song I couldn't sing; For somethin' that was never mine And somehow was everythin'. [Pre-Chorus] And they'll tell ya loss gets smaller. Nah, that's not what sorrow does. You just grow around the hollow Till there's room for both of us. [Chorus] I'm a little less the girl I was, A little more someone else; Carryin' echoes in my blood I never put there myself. There's a fire where the hurt was, There's a hunger where I fell; And I'm terrified to feed it— But I'm more afraid I will. I'm a little less afraid now, A little harder to break as well; A little less of who I used to be... A little more someone else. [Instrumental — piano, low strings, distant vocal harmonies] [Verse 3 — intimate, almost conversational] Sometimes I know things I shouldn't. Sometimes I dream in someone else's voice. Sometimes my hand moves toward the flame Before I've even made the choice. And sometimes— God help me— I like it. I like knowin' I could burn And walk away with somethin' new For everything I didn't return. There was a time I'd've prayed To be exactly who I'd been. Now I don't know if I'd go back... If ya offered her again. [Bridge — music nearly disappears] If I'm still me, then what are they? If they're not me, then why Do their sorrows hurt inside my chest? Why do their hungers feel like mine? And if there's somethin' more beyond this— Somethin' stronger I could be— [long pause] Would it be so wrong to want it... If the wanting came from me? [Build — heartbeat percussion enters] I used to fear the losing. Now there's somethin' darker still: I'm startin' to fear the part of me That wants to know what else I will— [Final Chorus — large, dark, soaring] I'm a little less the girl I was, A little more someone else; But maybe I was never meant To stay one thing myself. There's a fire where the hurt was, Now I'm learnin' how it feels; And the hands that came back tremblin' Are learnin' how to heal. I'm a little less afraid now. And there's power in that, as well. If every time this world breaks me I become somebody else— Then break me. [music surges, then abruptly drops] ...No. [quiet piano] No, I didn't mean that. [Outro — barely above a whisper] But there's the terror, isn't it? Somewhere underneath myself... A little voice that whispered— Yes, ya did. [single piano chord] A little less of who I was... A little more... someone else.