[Verse 1] Well I woke up this mornin’ with a raccoon on my head, My rooster cooked me bacon and he served me in bed. Grandpa’s on the roof playin’ spoons with his toes, And Mama’s ridin’ lawnmower’s got hydraulics that glow! [Chorus] ’Cause Grandma’s ridin’ a bull at Walmart, Down aisle nine near the pickled Pop-Tart. The greeter grabbed a lasso, the cashiers hit the floor, She busted through the checkout and she hollered “YEE-MORE!” [Verse 2] My cousin married Elvis at a Waffle House drive-thru, The preacher was a chicken wearin’ size twelve boots. The dog plays accordion, the cat drives a Jeep, And my uncle built a rocket outta duct tape and sheep! [Chorus] Yeah Grandma’s ridin’ a bull at Walmart, She lassoed a mannequin, pulled off its arm part. She’s drinkin’ Yoo-hoo whiskey from a plastic shoe, And the intercom is screamin’: “PRICE CHECK ON ROWDY TWO!” [Bridge] Now the fish are fryin’ catfish with a karaoke mic, The sheriff’s playin’ hopscotch on a unicycle bike. If you think this story’s crazy, brother you ain’t heard— The choir of possums sang the national bird! [Final Chorus] Oh Grandma’s ridin’ a bull at Walmart, With fireworks shootin’ from a busted go-kart. She’s chewin’ bubblegum beef jerky in the checkout line, This slapstick country chaos is a way of life of mine! [Outro – Spoken] “Clean-up on aisle EVERYTHING, y’all!” 🐂💥🎸
