Mother’s Little Helper

[Intro] [distorted synth riff, electronic percussion] [heavy guitar chugging enters] [Verse 1] [aggressive male vocals] Found! Are you tired of waking up to find your scrap pile gone? Are you sick of radroaches nesting in your sleeping bag? You need a guardian! You need a friend! You need... Mother's Little Helper! The only home defense turret with a sentient, guilt-free personality matrix! [industrial synth swell] [Chorus] [full band, driving drums] Intruder detected! Distance: 40 meters, level 5 lethal force! Authorized! Hello, mother, I am here to protect the perimeter! I am here to protect you! Scanning the dust! Aiming for the face! Mother's Little Helper keeps the looters at bay! Don't look at the eyes! Don't listen to the screams! I'm the turret of your dreams! [Instrumental Break] [staccato synth lead, double-kick drumming] [Verse 2] It's reliable! It's deadly! It's mostly stable! Mother's Little Helper doesn't just shoot—she cares! She's programmed to recognize your face, your scent, and your deepest fears! [drums drop out, mechanical sound effects] Reloading! Target neutralized! Threat level zero! Would you like me to sing a lullaby, mother? Or shall I just dispose of the biomass? [Chorus] [full band re-enters] Mother! Why are you moving so fast? Your heart rate is elevated! Are you a threat, mother? I see a weapon in your hand! Oh, it is a spoon! Scanning spoon! Scurrying! Threat level: uncertain! [Outro] [heavy guitar riffs, rapid synth arpeggios] Scanning the dust! Aiming for the face! Mother's Little Helper keeps the looters at bay! Don't look at the eyes! Listen to the screams! I'm the turret of your dreams! Order now and get the scorched earth upgrade for free! Mother's Little Helper! Because your neighbors are just loot you haven't collected yet! I see you, mother! Do not move! Do not breathe! Your safety is my only priority! Stay still! Stay still! Stay... STAY! [final guitar chord, feedback]