[Intro] (whispered) Ah yes… adulthood… the DLC nobody asked for. [Verse 1] I woke up to bills attacking like a boss fight in the dark, My laundry pile’s evolving — it’s achieved its final arc. The fridge is empty, mocking me, it laughs when I walk by, And somehow all my spoons are gone — don’t ask me why. [Pre-Chorus] Where is my nap time? Where is recess now? Who keeps scheduling meetings That my soul won’t allow? [Chorus] Oh take me back— To crayons and sunny afternoons, Not taxes, deadlines, gutter moods. A Happy Meal could fix my life— Now it’s twelve bucks, that cuts like a knife. Oh I declare— Adulthood needs a software patch, My sanity is mismatched. Zero stars, won’t recommend, Can someone hit childhood restart again? [Verse 2] I used to fear the dark—now I fear my credit score, My spine makes sounds like ancient doors. I’d trade my paycheck, honestly— For one free toy from ’93. Remember snacks were currency? Now coffee’s my identity. [Pre-Chorus] Remember snack time? Sticker charts that shined? Now it’s health insurance forms I sign while losing my mind. [Chorus] Oh take me back— To playground kingdoms we controlled, Where “grown-ups” felt like myths of old. Now rent is high and hope is low, And M&Ms were worth more dough. Oh I decree— Adulthood stole my magic beans, My budget’s held together with dreams. Zero stars, this life’s a glitch, Can someone let me swap to kid mode switch? [Bridge] “No more taxes!” “No more bills!” “Bring back nap time!” “Down with life skills!” (Spoken, theatrical) Behold… The crayons… The sandbox… The freedom… [Final Chorus] Oh take me back— To Saturday cartoons at dawn, Where joy was free and pain was gone. Now every day’s a quest to cope, But kid-me still believes in hope. So here I stand— A warrior with a broken phone, A grocery list carved into stone. If adulting’s destiny’s twist, Fine— But childhood? Childhood… is the magic I still miss.
