The Last Good Driver (Opera Buffa)

Comic opera buffa, 100-110 BPM, Full orchestral arrangement with strings, woodwinds, and brass sections, Dramatic timpani rolls and cymbal crashes for emphasis, Grand piano accompaniment with operatic flourishes, Baritone voice with theatrical delivery and operatic vibrato, Recitative style verses building to aria-like choruses, Horn section punctuating complaints with comedic timing, Woodwind trills and string tremolo for dramatic effect, Bridge section as intimate arioso before building to full orchestral climax, Final chorus with full choir harmonies supporting lead vocal, Ending with triumphant orchestral postlude then gentle solo voice fade, cantankerous grandeur

[Spoken Verse 1] Guy ahead is doing thirty Road's wide open, can't he see? I flash my brights politely He waves back — contritely Some folks have no manners Living in their high manors I'd have leaned on the horn But I'd have spilled my popcorn [Sung Chorus 1] Everybody's dangerous Everybody's blind Everybody's got a death wish Rattling round their mind And then there's me Calm as I can be The last good driver There's nobody left but me [Spoken Verse 2] A lady is talking on the phone Something that always makes me groan I'd have filmed it for the record But I was texting on the keyboard Sure, I drifted and hit the rumble Correcting made the coffee tumble But I never lost my cool I'm the one who sets the rule [Sung Chorus 2] Everybody's careless Everybody's a wreck Everybody needs a trooper Breathing down their neck But not me Steady as can be A saint behind the wheel Nobody left but me [Spoken Verse 3] Four-way stop, I kind of rolled it And the other car condoned it, It's because my time is precious The other guy's just semiprecious Merged without a shoulder-check 'Cause I don't need a crook neck Freeway can also mean freestyle But the semi honked a solid mile [Sung Chorus 3] Everybody's honking Everybody's sore All seem angry behind the wheel They play their horn with zeal Funny how it's always the same There's so many I can blame And no good drivers I can see Nobody left but me [Spoken Outro] I clipped the mailbox once again Third time now, what a pain Wife asks how was the drive to town And I give her the lowdown, More bad drivers than before Worse each year, I swore I just shook my head And took my meds It's becoming so excessive, I'll have to get more aggressive.

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