(Verse 1) I woke up this mornin’ with a real big plan, Gonna fix this world with a beer in my hand. Told my boss man straight, “I’ve been thinkin’ it through— A thousand bucks an hour sounds about due.” I sweep that floor like a king on a throne, Push that broom like it’s solid gold chrome. If this place makes millions, well I want my cut— Don’t hand me no “budget,” don’t call it “overhead” stuff. (Pre-Chorus) He tried to talk “profit margins” and “net,” I said, “Buddy, I ain’t seen my profit yet.” (Chorus) Life is simple when you’re stupid, Black and white, you just do it. Trailer park math says “more for me,” Fortune 500’s just jealousy. If the numbers don’t add up the way I feel, Then the numbers must be wrong for real. Yeah, I got answers, ain’t gotta prove it— Life is simple when you’re stupid. (Verse 2) I told him, “Bring me them books, let’s take a look, I seen accountants on TikTok.” He said, “You mean amortization?” I said, “Sure— That’s when you divide by vibes, I’m pretty sure.” Thirteen units over three fiscal years, Spread uneven—well that’s just weird. If you made a dollar in twenty-one, Just multiply that thing by a million, son. Why can’t payroll round up my dreams? Why’s rent due in actual currency? If the CEO’s got a leather chair, There’s gotta be treasure buried somewhere. (Pre-Chorus) He said, “It’s not that simple, there’s cost and debt.” I said, “Sounds like excuses to me, I bet.” (Chorus) Life is simple when you’re stupid, Common sense is how I compute it. If I work eight hours, I should own the place, That’s basic math in my mental space. Don’t talk supply and demand to me, I got a cousin who took Econ Three. Yeah, I got logic, can’t refute it— Life is simple when you’re stupid. (Bridge) I don’t need charts, don’t need graphs, Got a Sharpie and a six-pack for the math. If expenses rise, just don’t let ’em, If taxes come, just forget ’em. If the market dips, tell it don’t, If inflation’s high—well, I won’t. Reality keeps knockin’ at my door, But I ain’t signin’ for that package no more. (Breakdown – half-time) They say, “You can’t print money in the shed.” Well why’s the government do it instead? If big corporations can take a loss, Why can’t I be vice president boss? (Final Chorus) Life is simple when you’re stupid, Dream it big and just assume it. If I deserve it, that’s enough, Don’t bog me down with “technical stuff.” Your spreadsheets ain’t impressin’ me, I got gut feelin’ equity. Yeah, the world’s complex—but I dilute it, Life is simple when you’re stupid. (Outro) So here’s to thinkin’ we cracked the code, With half a clue and a heavy load. It all makes sense till facts intrude— Ain’t ignorance bliss? …Well shoot, that’s rude. Yeah, life’s real neat till truth gets looped in— Life is simple when you’re stupid. 🎸
