This is a story about the many times I put my egotistical father in his place. [Instrumental] One day I was minding my own business, playing on my phone in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee machine to finish it's job, when my father came strutting into the room. With a proud loud voice, and his chest all puffed out, he announced with glee that he just bought the biggest screen that he could afford. He always had a boastful personality about himself as he continues onward, with insults. This man was saying I could never afford anything that nice in my life, when here this guy was living rent free in my own house. Indeed ironic that my father would say such things while living rent-free in my own house. It was then I looked up from my phone to him. Him being a boomer, and my father, I knew he was talking about a television screen. But he was going on like a third grader on a power trip, saying he had the best, like a child with their first edition shiny Charizard on the playground. So after he was about out of air, like the bagpipe he is, I asked him, "So you think you have the biggest screen in the house? And that nobody but you could ever afford a bigger screen?" Of course he fell for my wordplay hook, line, and sinker, as he continued to insult and boast in my own kitchen, saying that I was irresponsible and would never have such a wonderful screen. All I did was smile and walk out of the room. Challenge Accepted. [Solo] I only let him have that glory for all of two hours, before I came back home with my new secret weapon to put him in his place. You don't talk like that to somebody, and don't expect something to happen. My daughter, who was six, saw mommy come inside with a box, and of course, had to be all over it as I set it up in my room. [Solo] Soon the sound of loud laughter drew my father out of his room. He came out and demanded to know what all the noise was about, and my daughter ran up to him, and said, "Mommy's screen is so big!!" And continued to fake swim before running back into my room. My father got curious, and went into my room, only to see a projector taking up the entire fifteen by nine wall, with an underwater video playing, with my daughter fake swimming with the dolphins. With a dropped jaw, he began to turn red with anger, asking what the meaning of this was. I looked at him and said, "You said that nobody but you could ever have the biggest screen." He became madder that I played him at his own game, before he tried another tactic; which is something he always does: price. Money means everything to this guy, and he asked, "oh, so how much was it?" I smiled and I said "100." Compared to his thousand whatever dollar tv, and my projector was barely a fraction of what he paid for and I had a whole wall, he silently left my room with his tail between his legs. He was very careful from that day on what he challenged me with, because it never ends well for him when he does. [End]
