[Intro] [Barbershop quartet vocalisations] (Hum, hum-di-dum) [Verse 1] Necrotizing fasciitis, oh what a sight! Flesh-eating bacteria, such pure delight! Gangrene sets in, as black as night (Oh yes, it's quite a fright!) [Chorus] Oh, the ailments we adore! (We adore!) Symptoms galore, let's sing some more! Diseases raw, right to the core Our quartet can't ignore! (Ba-ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-ba-bum) [Verse 2] Elephantiasis, limbs so grand and swollen Lymphatic filariasis, by nematodes we're stolen Scrotal lymphedema, quite the token (Oh my, we're not jokin'!) [Chorus] Oh, the ailments we adore! (We adore!) Symptoms galore, let's sing some more! Diseases raw, right to the core Our quartet can't ignore! (Ba-ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-ba-bum) [Bridge] Neurocysticercosis, tapeworms in the brain Onchocerciasis, river blindness, what a pain! Leishmaniasis, flesh-eating strain Cachexia wasting, we're going insane! [Chorus] Oh, the ailments we adore! (We adore!) Symptoms galore, let's sing some more! Diseases raw, right to the core Our quartet can't ignore! (Ba-ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-ba-bum) [Verse 3] Fournier's gangrene, necrosis down below Toxic epidermal necrolysis, skin peeling, don't you know? Pancreatic adenocarcinoma, watch it grow (Oh boy, what a show!) [Chorus] Oh, the ailments we adore! (We adore!) Symptoms galore, let's sing some more! Diseases raw, right to the core Our quartet can't ignore! (Ba-ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-ba-bum) [Outro] [Giggling] (Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee-hee) Isn't pathology such glee? (Ba-ba-ba-bum, ba-ba-ba-bum) [Fade to end] [End]