[Dookie:] "Scuzzy, you fuckin' know better'n that! Prudie, get up here! Woooooooo! It's No More fuckin' Secrets!!!" [VERSE 1] We were drinkin' in the rectory, just the two of us forlorn, And you kissed this fuckin' drunken owl, and, yeah, guess we both were horn...nee Now the proof is on my feathers, and fuck, I gotta wash it out— ’Cause your sister's my best goddamn friend, so she can't ever know about... [CHORUS] Whoa... ohhhhhhhhh!!! No more secrets, no more lies, Gonna tell her, no compromise. Dookie, I won't hide our tryst Dookie, I won't lie to my sister... Oh... ohhhhhhhhhhh!!! [gravelly male vocalist] No more secrets, no more lies, We're gonna look her in the eye. Prudence, there's too great a cost, Prudence, what would I do if I lost her... [VERSE 2] There’s a rule, ain't ever said out loud, 'cause everybody knows— Don’t ever fuck your best friend’s sister, no matter how it goes. Scuzzy’s been my shadow from the dive bars to the tombs, Taught me how to live when I fuckin' died, and I can't fuckin' lose her, Pru... [CHORUS] Whoa... ohhhhhhhhh!!! No more secrets, no more lies, Gonna tell her, no compromise. Dookie, I won't hide our tryst Dookie, I won't lie to my sister... Oh... ohhhhhhhhhhh!!! [gravelly male vocalist] No more secrets, no more lies, We're gonna look her in the eye. Prudence, there's too great a cost, Prudence, what would I do if I fuckin' lost her... [BRIDGE] Oh Prudie, fuck, maybe you're right, Maybe we just tell her about that night. I was lonely, you were hurtin' It wasn't wrong, I'm fuckin' certain! Yeah, Prudie, we'll tell her we fucked! Somehow, some day, I know she'll forgive us! Ohhhhhhhhhhh! [FINAL CHORUS] Oh... ohhhh... OHHHHHHHHH!!!! No more secrets, no more lies, Gonna tell her, no compromise. Hell no, we won't hide our fuck! Hell no, we won't lie to fuckin' Scuzz! Ohh!! OHHHHHHH!!!! No more secrets, no more lies, We're gonna look her in the eye. Fuck, she can handle the truth! Fuck, we'll tell her 'bout ol' Dookie and Pru! [Scuzzy:] "Tell the people about the leper monks, Prudie!"
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