[Intro — Stride piano, upright bass, playful trumpet] [Spoken, smug and theatrical] Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, There appears to be a misunderstanding. I do NOT have Daddy Issues! I have... Daddy requirements! [Brass hit] ニッコニッコニー！ [Verse 1 — Swinging, cheeky] I got a black Porsche, a bottle of wine, A fabulous face and a schedule divine. I don't need permission, I don't need advice, But Daddy, that compliment would've been nice! I don't need attention, I don't need a throne, I don't need you calling when I'm on my phone. But if I walk in and you don't turn around, Somebody's in trouble when the curtain comes down! [Pre-Chorus — Piano climbs, brass punctuations] I'm independent! I'm sophisticated! I'm twenty-one and highly decorated! I don't need saving! I don't need praise! But you haven't called me pretty in days! [Chorus — Full electro-swing brass explosion] Daddy Issue! That's what they say! Just 'cause I want you looking my way! Daddy Issue! What a disgrace! Now come over here and look at my face! ニッコニッコニー！ I'm the star of the show! ニッコニッコニー！ And you already know! I don't have Daddy Issues, Can't you see? Daddy's got a にこ issue with me! [Instrumental Break — Trumpet solo, walking bass, swinging piano] [Verse 2 — More flirtatious, rhythmically playful] I bought a new dress, I rehearsed my entrance, Practiced my smile with professional vengeance. You looked at your book, I looked at the clock, Then accidentally stood where you couldn't see the plot! I don't get jealous! That's terribly crude! I merely object to your wandering mood. And if another girl gets the better seat, I'll graciously concede... [Spoken, indignant] After she admits defeat! [Pre-Chorus — Rising brass, comic pauses] I'm not possessive! I'm not demanding! I simply require some understanding! One little hug! One little kiss! Is that too much for a woman like this?! [Chorus — Bigger, brass and piano] Daddy Issue! That's what they say! Just 'cause I want you looking my way! Daddy Issue! What a disgrace! Now come over here and look at my face! ニッコニッコニー！ I'm the star of the show! ニッコニッコニー！ And you already know! I don't have Daddy Issues, Can't you see? Daddy's got a にこ issue with me! [Cabaret Breakdown — Stop-time piano and pizzicato bass] [Spoken, mock courtroom testimony] Your Honor! I object to this entire investigation! Exhibit A: I am beautiful. Exhibit B: I am adorable. Exhibit C: He knew exactly what he was getting into! [Short silence] And I would like a hug. [Soft piano chord] Please. [Bridge — Intimate jazz piano, warm lower mezzo] Sometimes I make a little too much noise, Turn every whisper into a choice. I know you love me when the lights go down, When nobody's watching and there's no crown. I don't need a spotlight every night. Sometimes I just want you by my side. And if I ask you to stay a while, It's not another trick to make you smile. [Pause] I just like being here with you. [Brief silence] [Spoken, recovering her composure] ...And don't you dare tell anybody I said that. [Final Chorus — Explosive full-band return] DADDY ISSUE! I PLEAD NOT GUILTY! My reputation's only slightly filthy! DADDY ISSUE! WHAT CAN I SAY?! I'M THE MAIN EVENT OF YOUR EVERY DAY! ニッコニッコニー！ Give the girl her due! ニッコニッコニー！ Nobody does it like I do! I don't have Daddy Issues, Can't you see? Daddy's got a にこ issue with me! [Outro — Brass punches, dramatic stop-time ending] [Spoken, triumphantly] Case dismissed! [Pause] Daddy? [Sweetly] You still owe me that hug. [Final trumpet flourish] ニッコニッコニー！
