Nice People Are Crockpots - Sunny Side Eye | Funny Song About People Pleasing &

[Intro — spoken, over a funky bass groove] People always say: “She just snapped.” “He came out of nowhere.” “No warning at all.” Mm-hmm. Sure. No warning. Except for the previous six years. [Backing vocals] Low heat! Low heat! [Lead] Exactly. [Verse 1] I’m easygoing I’m flexible Whatever works I’m agreeable You need a favor? I got you, friend You need another? Sure, again Move the meeting Change the plan Need it Friday? Yes, I can One more request? Throw it inside I’m smiling sweetly While I’m dying inside [Backing vocals] She’s so nice! So relaxed! Never complains! [Lead, spoken] That should’ve been your first clue. [Pre-Chorus] Little bit of “sure” Little bit of “fine” Little dash of “don’t worry” Let it cook over time Add three missed dinners Two favors unpaid Put the lid on tightly And baby— you’ve got resentment made. [Chorus] Nice people are crockpots We don’t snap, we simmer Low heat, long time Smile getting thinner Nice people are crockpots Everything looks fine Till somebody says, “Hey, just one quick thing—” at 7:49 Nice people are crockpots Cooking all day long You thought I was peaceful I was seasoning the wrong. [Backing vocals] Low heat! Low heat! [Lead] Dinner’s ready. [Verse 2] I said “no problem” Seventeen times Which is fascinating Because there were problems At least sixteen Maybe seventeen If we’re being honest But honesty felt rude So I smiled like a saint Then complained in my car Where apparently boundaries ain’t You said: “You never told me.” And wow— that really annoyed me. Because you were right And I preferred my previous theory: That everybody else was selfish. [Pre-Chorus 2] Little bit of “yes” When I wanted to say “no” Little bit of “stay” When I wanted to go Little bit of smiling While my patience got thin Funny how resentment grows when honesty doesn’t get in. [Chorus] Nice people are crockpots We don’t snap, we simmer Low heat, long time Smile getting thinner Nice people are crockpots Everything looks fine Till somebody says, “Hey, just one quick thing—” at 7:49 Nice people are crockpots Cooking all day long You thought I was peaceful I was seasoning the wrong. [Post-Chorus — chant] Sure! No problem! Happy to help! Sure! No problem! Happy to help! Sure! No problem! Happy to— [Music cuts] Actually, no. [Verse 3 — rhythmic near-rap] Let’s check the ingredients One cup guilt Two cups fear Half a gallon “keep everybody happy” in here Sprinkle “don’t disappoint them” Dash of “be nice” Add “what will they think?” Stir that twice Set it on low Go live your life Come back six years later Now you’re yelling at your wife Or your boss Or your friend Or the cashier at the store When the person you were angry with was you for not saying it before. [Backing vocals soften] Ooooh. [Lead, spoken] Yeah. That got less funny. [Bridge — stripped down, warmer] Maybe they didn’t ignore my boundary Maybe I never drew the line Maybe they thought I meant “yes” because I said “yes” every single time Maybe anger isn’t proof That everybody let me down Maybe anger is what happens When my own voice gets drowned out And maybe being kind Doesn’t mean I disappear Maybe “no” is not rejection Maybe “no” is just clear. [Build] So turn off the crockpot Lift up the lid Say what you mean before resentment does it big Don’t wait for the meltdown Don’t wait for the scene Say the small little truth while your voice is still clean [Final Chorus — huge, joyful] Nice people are crockpots But we can learn to unplug We don’t need six hours To admit we’ve had enough Nice people are crockpots But baby, here’s the plot: Kind doesn’t mean endless And love does not mean hot Nice people are crockpots I finally learned the trick You don’t have to wait Till the whole thing makes you sick Say “no” when you mean no Say “yes” when you choose Because kindness without honesty is how everybody loses [Outro — playful] [Backing vocals] Low heat! Low heat! [Lead] Nope. We’re turning this thing off. [Backing vocals] But dinner— [Lead] Order pizza. [Final hit]