[Verse 1] There’s a fella with a refrigerator humming all night long Thirty silver cans lined up like they belong By Tuesday after supper, the porch begins to spin He can’t tell where the man stops and the pine trees begin [Chorus] He got Bigfooted, that’s his story every time Blames the hairy stranger for the trouble he can’t define Busted gate and muddy boots, truck leaned sideways too He says, “I swear that forest brute is what I put me through” [Verse 2] He wakes up by the flower bed, cheek pressed in the clay Head ringing like a screen door in a hurricane A bruise above his eyebrow, one sock in the sink He points at every mystery mark and says, “Just stop and think” [Chorus] He got Bigfooted, that’s his story every time Blames the hairy stranger for the trouble he can’t define Busted gate and muddy boots, truck leaned sideways too He says, “I swear that forest brute is what I put me through” [Verse 3] Four-wheeler in the drainage ditch, cooler split in two Garden gnome is missing and the grill has lost a screw The porch light’s hanging crooked, tailgate’s on the ground He says, “That beast was throwing fits when nobody was around” [Bridge] We saw him wrestle with a mailbox, argue with a tree Try to drive the tractor home on one and two and three We saw him blame the hound dog, then blame the county line Now he blames a legendary ape for every foolish sign [Chorus] He got Bigfooted, that’s his story every time Blames the hairy stranger for the trouble he can’t define Busted gate and muddy boots, truck leaned sideways too He says, “I swear that forest brute is what I put me through” [Verse 4] He says, “You weren’t there, boys, the woods were black as coal Nobody can disprove a beast I never saw control After can number nine, the evidence gets thin But if the tale gets bigger, I can make the jury grin” [Final Chorus] Don’t get Bigfooted, boys, know when to call it quits Leave the keys beside the cooler, quit before the night goes split No print, no hair, no camera trail, no proof beneath the moon Just one man, one pile of cans, and a very guilty loon [Outro] He’ll swear it was Bigfoot till the day his story ends But the tracks all point in circles right back to where he’s been
