(Intro) [Static] [TV Channel switch] [Cartoon instrumental, no voice] [Static] [TV channel switch] [Action instrumental, no voice] [Static] [TV channel switch] [Romance instrumental, no voice] [Static] [TV channel switch] "Thank you for tuning in. Now normally we like to kid around, but tonight we think your parents might want to join us as we are going to present a very special episode." Kids gather around the tv Call your parents in too We got a special episode Teach you a thing or two We canned the laughter While still a Lil bit silly If we play our cards right We might just win an emmy Started with All in the Family With Edith's 50th Birthday No Trigger warning on it Didn't have those in the day So the comedy went away as a man tried to assault her on television comedy in 77 That was quite the shocker Different Strokes was the one Started most of our Trauma T'was that Bicycle Man episode Turned comedy into drama It was a special two parter Gordon Jump a regular Epstein Tried to fiddle Dudley n' Arnold Offering to give a bike for free Now the trend officially started Facts of Life did their own version In the episode The First Time Natalie became no longer virgin It was supposed to be Blair Warner But Lisa Welchel refused to play Saying God said there ain't no way Didn't want to be a bad example Selling her soul with hell to pay Then on Family Ties Say Uncle Tom Hanks played favorite unc It all but destroyed Alex P Keaton Learning he was a raging drunk Was his third time on the show But then was never seen again Guess we will never find out If he managed to stay on the wagon Before he was a friend on Friends He appeared on Growing Pains Matthew P was Carol's boyfriend But the relationship was ill fated Because he had one serious issue He decided to drink and drive At first Carol refused to believe it When learned was no longer alive You can't forget Saved by the Bell And that episode Jessie's Song It was supposed to be about speed NBC refused something that strong So amphetamines became caffeine She took him till her brain ignited Before Showgirls she was famous for I'm so excited, so excited, so excited, so excited I'm so scared We gotta have Life of the Party Urkel got drunk on Family Matters When someone spiked the punch He did the Urkel and almost splattered As he fell off the top of the roof Aunt Rachel save him as tightrope walker So even though he had survived Next day had a mighty hangover [Instrumental, no voice] And then there was that episode of Tiny Tunes [Instrument, no voice]
