[Spoken Intro] “Misery mate? Honey, we just say ‘you good?’ You say ‘fine.’ Then we find out what happened.” [Verse 1] You say you’re wrestling with the world I’m wrestling with this bra One of us can quit by supper Guess which one we are You brought a dead philosopher To tell me life ain’t fair I could’ve saved you all that reading Pull yourself a chair [Chorus] Misery, sugar, take a number Get in line and wait I got laundry on the loveseat And too much on my plate You can tell me all your troubles I can listen, I can laugh But if you’re staying here for supper You can take the garbage out [Spoken] “Compassion’s free. Housekeeping ain’t.” [Verse 2] I quit drinking, kept the mouth That part didn’t change Now I mean it when I say it Can’t blame the cabernet My kids grew up and moved away I thought my work was through Now they call and ask me questions Hell, I’m guessing too [Pre-Chorus] You say everybody’s hurting Well, I reckon that’s a fact But being sad don’t get you The whole damn armrest back [Chorus] Misery, sugar, take a number Get in line and wait I got laundry on the loveseat And too much on my plate You can tell me all your troubles I can listen, I can laugh But if you’re staying here for supper You can take the garbage out [Spoken] “Somebody forgot the oars? Well, who packed the beer? Y’all had a whole meeting And nobody checked the boat?” [Bridge] Some days I don’t get dressed till three Some nights I don’t sleep Some folks say, “Just choose happy” Like it’s marked down cheap I ain’t got a cure for hurting I won’t tell you that I do But I’ll scoot this laundry over Make a little room for you [Final Chorus] Misery, sugar, take a number Aw, hell, come on inside You ain’t gotta say you’re fine I know when people lie You can tell me all your troubles We can have ourselves a laugh But if you’re staying here for supper You can take the garbage out [Spoken Outro] “And put a fresh bag in. Last fella needed that explained.” [End]
