All The Shows I'll Never Go To Without You - Dearest Me

Jason Menzies

The Furthest

Jason Menzies

indie folk, alternative, emo

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V5.5

[Soft Verse 1 – gentle melodic singing, delicate clean guitar arpeggios, warm piano undertones, soft layered harmonies, very intimate and beautiful]
Cardboard coffee cups on the hood of your Civic,
steam mixing with frost on the windshield at 6 AM.
You’d steal your mom’s Marlboros and we’d drive nowhere,
singing every word to “Never Meant” like it was scripture.
Your voice cracked on the high parts every single time.
I called you tone-deaf. You called me pretentious.
God, I miss that.
You kept a Sharpie in your pocket like it was a weapon,
drew tiny screaming faces on my Converse when I wasn’t looking.
One still there—faded now, but the middle finger’s clear as day.
We said we’d start a band called “Dead Inside But Make It Pretty.”
You were gonna play guitar with no pick, just bleeding fingers.
I was gonna write the words that saved us both.
[Soft Chorus – lush, soaring melodic emo harmonies, still soft and fragile, emotional but restrained, no distortion]
And the poster says the band is playing Friday,
same venue we swore we’d sneak into when we turned 18.
I can see you in the pit already,
flailing like a broken marionette,
sweat in your eyes, grin too wide for this world.
You always said the noise made the quiet stop.
I wish I’d listened closer to the quiet in you.
[Soft Verse 2 – intimate spoken-sung, fingerpicking guitar, barely any percussion, delicate and nostalgic]
Remember that night on the water tower?
You carved our initials with a stolen pocket knife,
said even if we burned out, the rust would remember.
Seventeen felt like forever and five minutes.
You told me about the pills in your bathroom cabinet
like they were just another bad habit,
like I could fix it with the right mixtape.
I played you Mineral and Sunny Day Real Estate
until the sun came up pink over the cornfields.
You fell asleep on my shoulder.
I thought that meant you’d stay.
[Soft Bridge – slow emotional build with thicker harmonies, still fully acoustic/soft electric, rising tension but no heavy elements]
The flyer’s colors are bleeding in the rain now…
just like the last text you sent me.
“I’m tired.”
I wrote back “Same el oh el” and went to sleep.
I still see those three dots sometimes when I close my eyes.
[Sudden Heavy Breakdown – explosive genre shift: raw hardcore metal / screamo, distorted guitars, blast beats, intense screamed vocals, full chaotic energy, heavy as fuck]
WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I HEAR IT?!
WHY DIDN’T I SEE THE CRACKS IN YOUR FUCKING SMILE?!
You were screaming in a language I only speak now—
too late, too late, too fucking late!
I see that poster and I want to rip it down,
set the whole goddamn block on fire,
drag you back from wherever you went
just to shake you until the guilt stops eating me alive!
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BROTHER!
I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE YOU!
Now every chord I play sounds like your absence,
every stage I’ll ever stand on has an empty space shaped like you!
FUCK THIS WORLD FOR TAKING YOU AT SEVENTEEN!
FUCK ME FOR LETTING IT!
[Heavy Final Breakdown – still intense but slowing with emotional screams, powerful and cathartic]
I hope you’re somewhere the noise finally stopped…
I hope you’re proud of the mess I became without you.
[Soft Resolution – abrupt return to gentle melodic midwest emo, whispered spoken word, clean guitars, fading harmonies, very quiet and heartbreaking]
The flyer’s soaked through now.
Ink running like mascara on a bad night.
I leave it there.
Maybe some other kid will see it
and call their best friend at 2 AM.
I love you, man.
Still saving you a spot in the pit.
Always.
[Outro – single soft voice, almost spoken, barely audible over dying clean guitar and reverb]
See you at the show we missed…
I’ll be the one screaming your name.

4055/7500

[Soft Intro – whispered spoken word, extremely stripped back, just voice + gentle reverb, no drums, minimal clean guitar arpeggio] The flyer’s taped crooked on the telephone pole, edges curled like it’s been waiting for me. Your name still in my phone as “Best Fucking Idiot.” I almost laugh.... (Chuckles softly) ...Almost. [Soft Verse 1 – gentle melodic singing, delicate clean guitar arpeggios, warm piano undertones, soft layered harmonies, very intimate and beautiful] Cardboard coffee cups on the hood of your Civic, steam mixing with frost on the windshield at 6 AM. You’d steal your mom’s Marlboros and we’d drive nowhere, singing every word to “Never Meant” like it was scripture. Your voice cracked on the high parts every single time. I called you tone-deaf. You called me pretentious. God, I miss that. You kept a Sharpie in your pocket like it was a weapon, drew tiny screaming faces on my Converse when I wasn’t looking. One still there—faded now, but the middle finger’s clear as day. We said we’d start a band called “Dead Inside But Make It Pretty.” You were gonna play guitar with no pick, just bleeding fingers. I was gonna write the words that saved us both. [Soft Chorus – lush, soaring melodic emo harmonies, still soft and fragile, emotional but restrained, no distortion] And the poster says the band is playing Friday, same venue we swore we’d sneak into when we turned 18. I can see you in the pit already, flailing like a broken marionette, sweat in your eyes, grin too wide for this world. You always said the noise made the quiet stop. I wish I’d listened closer to the quiet in you. [Soft Verse 2 – intimate spoken-sung, fingerpicking guitar, barely any percussion, delicate and nostalgic] Remember that night on the water tower? You carved our initials with a stolen pocket knife, said even if we burned out, the rust would remember. Seventeen felt like forever and five minutes. You told me about the pills in your bathroom cabinet like they were just another bad habit, like I could fix it with the right mixtape. I played you Mineral and Sunny Day Real Estate until the sun came up pink over the cornfields. You fell asleep on my shoulder. I thought that meant you’d stay. [Soft Bridge – slow emotional build with thicker harmonies, still fully acoustic/soft electric, rising tension but no heavy elements] The flyer’s colors are bleeding in the rain now… just like the last text you sent me. “I’m tired.” I wrote back “Same el oh el” and went to sleep. I still see those three dots sometimes when I close my eyes. [Sudden Heavy Breakdown – explosive genre shift: raw hardcore metal / screamo, distorted guitars, blast beats, intense screamed vocals, full chaotic energy, heavy as fuck] WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I HEAR IT?! WHY DIDN’T I SEE THE CRACKS IN YOUR FUCKING SMILE?! You were screaming in a language I only speak now— too late, too late, too fucking late! I see that poster and I want to rip it down, set the whole goddamn block on fire, drag you back from wherever you went just to shake you until the guilt stops eating me alive! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BROTHER! I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE YOU! Now every chord I play sounds like your absence, every stage I’ll ever stand on has an empty space shaped like you! FUCK THIS WORLD FOR TAKING YOU AT SEVENTEEN! FUCK ME FOR LETTING IT! [Heavy Final Breakdown – still intense but slowing with emotional screams, powerful and cathartic] I hope you’re somewhere the noise finally stopped… I hope you’re proud of the mess I became without you. [Soft Resolution – abrupt return to gentle melodic midwest emo, whispered spoken word, clean guitars, fading harmonies, very quiet and heartbreaking] The flyer’s soaked through now. Ink running like mascara on a bad night. I leave it there. Maybe some other kid will see it and call their best friend at 2 AM. I love you, man. Still saving you a spot in the pit. Always. [Outro – single soft voice, almost spoken, barely audible over dying clean guitar and reverb] See you at the show we missed… I’ll be the one screaming your name.

0/500