(Verse 1) If I had the money, I wouldn't be in Cicely, nope. I'd be strolling down Fifth Avenue, With a bagel in my hand and a smile, oh so grand. But here I am, stuck in the snow, Dealing with folks who fish and hunt, When I should be at a Broadway show, Instead of fixing colds and runts. (Chorus) If I was a rich man, I’d pay off all my loans, bada bada bing, bada bing, bada boom! I'd be back in New York, With pizza, bagels, and a nice warm room. I wouldn’t know the names of moose, Or how to live without a deli's juice. Oh, the life I'd lead, If I didn’t owe for my MD degree. (Verse 2) I'd have a penthouse view, Of Central Park, so green and wide. I'd never have to patch up Ed, Or wonder where that crazy Chris resides. No more listening to Maurice's rants, Or Maggie’s tales of flight and chance. I’d be sipping lattes, oh so smooth, Not wondering if the pipes will freeze or move. (Chorus) If I was a rich man, I’d pay off all my loans, bada bada bing, bada bing, bada boom! I'd be back in New York, With pizza, bagels, and a nice warm room. I wouldn’t know the names of moose, Or how to live without a deli's juice. Oh, the life I'd lead, If I didn’t owe for my MD degree. (Bridge) But here I am, in Alaska’s grip, Where the sun barely makes a trip. No pastrami on rye, no hot dog stands, Just fish and snow and barren lands. If only, if only, I’d had the dough, To stay in New York and never know What it's like to miss a proper bagel, Or be the only doc who’s stable. (Final Chorus) If I was a rich man, I’d pay off all my loans, bada bada bing, bada bing, bada boom! I'd be back in New York, With pizza, bagels, and a nice warm room. I wouldn’t know the names of moose, Or how to live without a deli's juice. Oh, the life I'd lead, If I didn’t owe for my MD degree. But alas, here I am... in Cicely.
