[Verse 1] My saviour said, in Matthew twenty-two, "Love your neighbours like you love you." But his neighbours weren't libtard scum, I don't think he could've meant to include them.. [Spoken] Do you think he meant to love even people you don't like? Nah! Let's look at how Christ used his godly power to smite. [Verse 2] Matthew five and then Luke six, too, 'Love thy enemies, and pray for them, you.' 'If you're bitch slapped on the side of your face,' 'Just prepare for another slap with good grace.' [Spoken] Then how are we supposed to get rid of all the Christian-hating heathens? I'm sure somewhere, Jesus said, 'Slaughter the scumbags.' [Pre-chorus 1] What do I do, when I have doubt? It's something I don't wanna think about. I get my bros all in a circle. Then we do the Evangelical Shuffle. [Chorus 1] Take a side step to the right, Look right through your rifle sight. Blow away the liberal wretch. Recoil knocks you back a step. Take two more steps to the right. Never left, cuz that ain't white. Wave your banner in the sky. A cross so you identify, Who's your tribe and who's the foe, Take a step towards your bros. Wave your Bible in the air, Put it in the bookcase there, Never gonna read it anyway, Just listen to what the pastors say. And you've done, with no kerfuffle, The Evangelical Shuffle. [Spoken] What about cash? Jesus loves the rich. right? [Verse 3] Matthew six, 'Gain spiritual wealth above,' 'Not down on Earth,. That won't get God's love.' Luke fourteen, 'Get rid of all your stuff,' 'Or you're no disciple of mine, that might seem rough.' [Spoken] Yeah, but these are just guidelines, right? I can still be wealthy and get to heaven. [Verse 4] 'Serve only one master, Lord God or wealth.' Matthew six and Luke sixteen, Christ said himself. 'Sell and give away, anything you got,' Says Matthew nineteen, 'Just lose the lot.' [Spoken] I've worked hard for this stuff! That's what you're supposed to do, right? Work hard and get stuff. [Pre-chorus 2] What do I do, when I have doubt? It's something I don't wanna think about. I get my bros all in a circle. Then we do the Evangelical Shuffle. [Chorus 2] Take a side step to the right, Look right through your rifle sight. Blow away the liberal wretch. Recoil knocks you back a step. Take two more steps to the right. Never left, cuz that ain't white. Wave your banner in the sky. A cross so you identify, Who's your tribe and who's the foe, Take a step towards your bros. Wave your Bible in the air, Put it in the bookcase there, Never gonna read it anyway, Just listen to what the pastors say. And you've done, with no kerfuffle, The Evangelical Shuffle. [Spoken] But Jesus hates the poor, doesn't he? Otherwise, he wouldn't make them poor. [Verse 5] Luke six, Jesus says, 'You poor have Heaven.' 'Not likely seeing paradise if you got dough,' says Mark ten.
