Don't Text, Don't Call

[Verse 1 — Half-whispered, beat still building, fridge humming in the background] 1:17 and the screen's too bright Typed three things back Deleted all of them by the second blink First one was mean Second one was poetry Third one was just "hey" And that's the one that scared me I'm on the kitchen floor Yes, the actual floor Mug of Cheerios Because every clean bowl Went to a man I don't talk to anymore The milk is room temperature I'm not fixing it I'm not fixing anything I'm sitting here And that's the verdict My old self would've answered In eleven seconds flat Thumbs hot like a dimmer Turned all the way back My current self has boundaries Read about them on a post My current self is also underdressed And eating toast— No wait, that's a lie It's cereal I keep saying toast Okay, I don't even have bread See, this is what I mean [Pre-Chorus — Beat drops halfway through, she speeds up] He said "u up" Like it's a question But it's not It's a door And he knows I leave it off the latch I said I changed I said I grew I said I learned the lesson I learned the lesson so well I'm sitting here rehearsing answers To a question nobody asked yet And he's not even— [Chorus — Full beat, hook plain and sharp, one line repeated twice] Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call [Verse 2 — Trip-hop sway, slower, bass thicker, she's talking herself into circles] I know what he sounds like at 2am When he's not saying anything important Breath all low Like a secret He's pretending not to keep I know that my left knee is cold Because the tile That's just the tile I know the cereal's getting soggy I know the mug was a choice I know all of this I know I said don't And I meant don't I know my thumb just unlocked The screen again Like a reflex Like a pet I didn't train He hasn't even said anything new It's the old message The same one "u up" At 1:17 Like he set a clock by me Like I'm a shift he clocks into And my boundaries are right here On the kitchen floor Next to the mug and the spoon And they're doing great We're all doing great Nobody's typing anything I'm not typing My thumb's not typing [Pre-Chorus — Same structure, beat cuts out for two beats on "latch"] He said "u up" Like it's a question But it's not It's a door And he thinks I forgot about the latch I changed the locks in June I told him that in July He said "cute" And I think that's the word That still makes me want to pick up Not the question Not the 1:17 The word Cute [Chorus — Same words, but she sings them like she's already lost the argument] Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call [Bridge — Beat strips back to just bass line and her voice, no double tracking, raw] Here's the part Where the song gets honest And I ruin the mood He's not a villain He's not even that bad He just never asks me anything When it's light out And I keep forgiving that Because the dark feels like It knows me better And the cereal's done The mug is empty I'm still on the floor And I think the reason I typed three replies And deleted them Is none of them said The thing I actually mean Which is: I wish you wanted to know me at noon I wish you'd text "What are you doing?" At 2pm on a Wednesday Like I'm someone You're curious about Not someone you check on Like a light You left on by accident [Final Chorus — Beat returns full, same two lines, but now they're a wish, not a warning] Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call Don't text, don't call [Outro — Spoken, beat fades, just her and the fridge again] 1:34 now. He sent a question mark. That's new. That's almost a whole sentence for him. The floor's really cold. I should get up. I should get up. I'm typing.