[Epic Introduction – dramatic, over-the-top] The best advertisement I have ever seen: “Hire this lawyer To handle your case.” Is he the best? Well… probably not. (ominous pause) But hey — you could do worse. [Chorus – big and ironic] You could do worse! That’s actually his sign. What does that mean? I’m reading between the lines… Did he pass the bar By the skin of his teeth? Did he pass the bar Or just barely squeak? You could do worse… I think? [Verse 2] I suppose I could do much worse, I could represent myself. I could yell “Sovereign Citizen!” And sabotage my health. He technically did better Than the ones who failed the test… But “technically better” Is not exactly “the best.” [Chorus – slightly stronger] You could do worse! That’s actually his pitch. Is that supposed to make me Feel confident in this? Did he pass the bar With a respectable grade? Or was it more of a “Congratulations… you stayed”? You could do worse… That’s what he said. [Epic Trumpet Interlude – bold, heroic, completely undeserved] [Verse 3] Using this guy’s a roll of the dice, Does he know what he’s doing — or guessing twice? Saying he’s “better than nothing”… well technically true, But that’s not the energy I’m looking for in you. I feel as confident As naked in a dream — Trying to run But stuck in between. [Final Chorus – bigger, funnier, more dramatic] You could do worse! What kind of claim is that? That’s not a ringing endorsement, That’s a legal shrug in a hat. What if he is the worst? I have no scale to compare! If your slogan is hesitation, Why would I put you in charge of my affairs? You could do worse? No thanks — I’ll pass. I’d like my lawyer To at least sound first-class!
