Verse 1 Listen—I did the calculations Sigils aligned, perfect incantation Leylines humming, mana clean This should’ve been the smoothest thing you’ve seen I said “stand back” (they stood near) Said “don’t touch that” (rogue already here) Warrior flexed, cleric prayed I cast the spell—reality disobeyed Pre-Chorus The formula was flawless The variables were idiots Chorus The math was right, don’t look at me That explosion’s a team-based tragedy If the laws of magic fucking snapped It’s ‘cause someone moved while I was mid-cast The math was right, I’ll die on this hill Preferably not—cleric, heal me still So raise a glass to arcane might And blame the fire on user error, alright? Verse 2 Goblin cave, tight space, risky spell But theoretically? It should work well Warrior rushed in like a battering ram Rogue stole something cursed—again, goddamn I shouted “CLEAR!” in three dead tongues They heard “NOW!” and leapt in front Fireball bloomed like a beautiful sun Then suddenly there’s way too many limbs, none of them fun Pre-Chorus That scream? Not part of the plan That fire? Definitely was Chorus The math was right, I wrote it twice Can’t account for reckless sacrifice If the ceiling fell and the altar blew That’s physics, babe, not something I can undo The math was right, my spell was pure Can’t heal stupid, can’t make it cure So drink to brains in a brawn-filled fight And stop fucking moving during arcane light Bridge (spoken, frantic, accelerating) Okay— Okay okay okay— That’s too much mana Why is it screaming WHY IS IT SCREAMING Cleric’s glowing Warrior’s laughing Rogue’s invisible (that’s suspicious) I can fix this— I can fix this— I can— oh no. Final Chorus (shouted, chaotic) The math was right, the world was wrong That blast radius was optimistic, fine, so what If we’re banned from three arcane towers They deserved it for doubting my power The math was right, write it down Survivorship bias—we’re still around So toast to fire and broken sense And never interrupt spellcasting, you dense motherfucks Outro Next time I’ll cast something small Like apologies or not at all But if it explodes again—just know The theory was sound. The party was not.
