[Intro | spoken soft | intimate story-time tone] (Now here's a little something that needs to be heard) Chief Vinny, could you read us a bedtime story? Please, huh, please? All right, you orphans get to bed, I'll get the storybook Y'all tucked in? Yeah Here we go [Verse | steady narrative flow | clear storytelling cadence | slight syncopation] Once upon a time not long ago When capsuleers wore pajamas and lived life slow When laws were stern and justice stood And people were behavin' like they ought to good There lived a little orphan who was misled By another little orphan's How to videos "Me and you tonight we're gonna make some I S K Data theft and grave-robbin', makin' the dash" They did the job, I S K came with ease But one couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease He robbed another and another and a sister and a brother Tried to rob a man who was W H P D undercover The officer warp scrammed his ship, he started actin' erratic He said "Keep still Dirt-bag, no need for static" Punched him in his shields and he gave him a slap But little did he know the Dirt-bag had a warp stab The Dirt-bag slipped out, he said "Why'd you tackle me?" The cop got LOUD, GET OUTTA THAT SHIP! So he warped off and ran around the Sun W H P D radios into another lady cop He ran by a gas planet, there he saw this sister Shot for the warp core, he shot back but he missed her Looked 'round good and from expectations So he decided he'd head for the worm hole exit But she was comin' and he made a left He was burning' top speed 'til he was outta cap Knocked an old local down and swore he killed him (Sorry) Then he made his move to an abandoned station Ran up the dock slid in with ease Opened up the view port, guess who he saw? (Who?) Apollo the dope fiend shootin' dope Who don't know the meanin' of water nor soap He said "I need to hide from the cops" The dope fiend laughed He rejected docking rights and the ship undocked but there were cops all over D Scan Then he warped off the grid talking shit in local Crashed into a rock on an ore site Escaped alive though the ship was battered Rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered warping around looking for that static He told the cops "I Din Du Nuthing" Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded And before long the Dirt-bag got scrammed He dropped his drones, so went the glory And this is the way I have to end this story He was only seven days old, in a you tube dream The W H P D shot the Dirt-bag, I still hear him scream This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh (Uh-huh) Just another case about the wrong path (Uh-huh) Straight and narrow or your pod gets cracked Good night [Outro | Children soft spoken | fading storybook close] (Knock him out the box, Vinny Knock him out, Vinny) - Oh boy. That Chief Vinny is really weird - I know, right? What does he mean? "Straight and narrow or yo' pod gets cracked"? - I don't know. I think he be crackin' it up or something - Well, I'm goin' to bed. Good night - Good night
