Peasant's Life - The Musical: Life is Mad When You're a Peasant

[Intro]
[Shouted]
Ho! Mind the lord's taxman!
Hide the turnips!

[Verse 1]
I wake beneath a leaking roof
With one dry sock and half a proof
The rooster screams, the baby bites
The millstone eats our grain at night

My landlord wants a bigger share
The priest wants candles for his prayer
The bailiff wants my winter coat
I offered him a cabbage boat

[Pre-Chorus]
The well is mud, the road is dung
My best complaint is badly sung

[Chorus]
Life is mad when you're a peasant
Every day a fresh unpleasant
Plow the field, pay the crown
Trip on straw and fall face-down
Hey! Ho! The cart won't steer!
Hey! Ho! The plague is near!
Raise your cup of watered ale
Laugh before the harvest fails!

[Verse 2]
The castle cooks a seven-course feast
We chew one onion with a yeast
The lord's new bridge took fifteen years
It washed away with three small tears

A chicken vanished from the pen
The constable blamed all our friends
We found its feathers by the gate
Inside the duke's roast supper plate

[Pre-Chorus]
The bell rings noon, the ox says no
The taxman smiles, we hide below

[Bridge]
[Spoken, building]
Good people, tomorrow brings prosperity!
[Gang]
How?
[Spoken]
The lord has discovered a new tax.
[Gang]
On what?
[Spoken]
Breathing.
[Gang]
We're doomed!

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 3]
I joined the army for the pay
They gave me boots that ran away
I joined the guild to learn a trade
They charged me dues for being afraid

My sweetheart said, "Come build a home"
I said, "Which one? We rent the loam"
She kissed my cheek and stole my bread
Then charged me interest in bed

[Final Chorus]
Life is mad when you're a peasant
Still we make the mess delightful
Plow the field, pay the crown
Trip on straw and fall face-down
Hey! Ho! The cart won't steer!
Hey! Ho! The plague is near!
Raise your cup of watered ale
Laugh before the harvest fails!

[Outro]
When the final bell has rung
And the taxman's ledger's flung
We'll dance upon the village green
The poorest kings this world's seen
Hey! Ho! Pass the turnip!
Hey! Ho! Hide the spoon!
If life is mad, then sing it louder
Till the moon falls off the moon!

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[Intro] [Shouted] Ho! Mind the lord's taxman! Hide the turnips! [Verse 1] I wake beneath a leaking roof With one dry sock and half a proof The rooster screams, the baby bites The millstone eats our grain at night My landlord wants a bigger share The priest wants candles for his prayer The bailiff wants my winter coat I offered him a cabbage boat [Pre-Chorus] The well is mud, the road is dung My best complaint is badly sung [Chorus] Life is mad when you're a peasant Every day a fresh unpleasant Plow the field, pay the crown Trip on straw and fall face-down Hey! Ho! The cart won't steer! Hey! Ho! The plague is near! Raise your cup of watered ale Laugh before the harvest fails! [Verse 2] The castle cooks a seven-course feast We chew one onion with a yeast The lord's new bridge took fifteen years It washed away with three small tears A chicken vanished from the pen The constable blamed all our friends We found its feathers by the gate Inside the duke's roast supper plate [Pre-Chorus] The bell rings noon, the ox says no The taxman smiles, we hide below [Chorus] Life is mad when you're a peasant Every day a fresh unpleasant Plow the field, pay the crown Trip on straw and fall face-down Hey! Ho! The cart won't steer! Hey! Ho! The plague is near! Raise your cup of watered ale Laugh before the harvest fails! [Bridge] [Spoken, building] Good people, tomorrow brings prosperity! [Gang] How? [Spoken] The lord has discovered a new tax. [Gang] On what? [Spoken] Breathing. [Gang] We're doomed! [Instrumental Break] [Verse 3] I joined the army for the pay They gave me boots that ran away I joined the guild to learn a trade They charged me dues for being afraid My sweetheart said, "Come build a home" I said, "Which one? We rent the loam" She kissed my cheek and stole my bread Then charged me interest in bed [Final Chorus] Life is mad when you're a peasant Still we make the mess delightful Plow the field, pay the crown Trip on straw and fall face-down Hey! Ho! The cart won't steer! Hey! Ho! The plague is near! Raise your cup of watered ale Laugh before the harvest fails! [Outro] When the final bell has rung And the taxman's ledger's flung We'll dance upon the village green The poorest kings this world's seen Hey! Ho! Pass the turnip! Hey! Ho! Hide the spoon! If life is mad, then sing it louder Till the moon falls off the moon!

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