[Intro — spoken, bubbly valley-girl voice] Oh. My. God! You guys, it's Halloween! Which means I get to dress up all sexy and slutty and— Wait. I literally do that every day. Hee-hee! Whatever! Tonight I get EARS! [Verse 1] Mini skirt, low-rise jeans, Tiny little top in a shade of Halloween green. Platform boots and glossy lips, Got a whole lotta attitude and a little bit of hips! My closet's full of outfits that are scandalously small, My mama says, "Honey, do you own a shirt at all?" I said, "Like, obviously! There's one somewhere in there!" But it's buried underneath my crop tops and my underwear! [Pre-Chorus] I don't need a costume, I don't need a disguise, I just need a little lipstick And some extra winged eyes! Everybody's getting spooky, Everybody's getting freaky, But my everyday aesthetic's Already kinda freaky! [Chorus] I'm a slut every day, every day, every day! But tonight I'm a cat, so it's totally okay! Got my ears on my head and my tail on my behind, Looking scandalously cute and committing fashion crimes! Meow, meow, baby, look at me! I'm the Halloween queen of the naughty kitty spree! Same old clothes, same old slay, Just a pair of little cat ears to celebrate the day! I'm a slut every day— But tonight I'm a cat! And, like, that's the whole costume! [Verse 2] My bestie dressed a vampire, she's got fake blood on her neck, My other friend is a sexy cop who's writing guys a tickets. There's a naughty little nurse and a devil dressed in red, And I'm wearing what I wore last Tuesday instead! I tried to be a bunny, but the ears were way too wide, Tried to be a little devil, but the horns messed up my vibe. Then I found these little kitty ears, all sparkly, black and cute, Put 'em on and struck a pose—now THAT'S my Halloween suit! [Pre-Chorus] Do I need haunted fashion? Do I need a creepy cape? Girl, I always come dressed as a problem, Now I'm just adding feline shape! I was born to cause a scandal, I was raised to steal the show, And tonight I'm extra spooky 'Cause my little ears say so! [Chorus] I'm a slut every day, every day, every day! But tonight I'm a cat, so it's totally okay! Got my ears on my head and my tail on my behind, Looking scandalously cute and committing fashion crimes! Meow, meow, baby, look at me! I'm the Halloween queen of the naughty kitty spree! Same old clothes, same old slay, Just a pair of little cat ears to celebrate the day! I'm a slut every day— But tonight I'm a cat! And, like, that's the whole costume! [Bridge — beat drops, finger snaps, spoken sass] Okay, so, like… Some girls spend all year planning their Halloween looks. Some girls make their own costumes. Some girls, like, transform into terrifying creatures of the night. And me? I put on my regular outfit… Added cat ears… And saved, like, eighty dollars! I'm so financially responsible. Purr-fectly adorable. Tax deductible? Hee-hee! Probably not! [Build — playful spoken ad-libs] Whiskers? Check! Ears? Check! Tail? Check! Self-respect? …Girl, it's Halloween! [Final Chorus — bigger synths, layered harmonies, playful ad-libs] I'm a slut every day, every day, every day! But tonight I'm a cat, so it's totally okay! Got my ears on my head and my tail on my behind, I'm the cutest little menace that the moon has ever spied! Meow, meow, baby, can't you see? Halloween was basically invented for me! Same old sass, same old slay, Just a pair of little cat ears to celebrate the day! I'm a slut every day, I'm a slut every night, But tonight I'm a kitty And my ears look dynamite! Meow, meow, hear me say, I'm the baddest little cat at the Halloween soiree! No new clothes, no big expense, Just feline ears and zero self respect! [Outro — giggling] Wait, wait, wait! Does this mean I can write off the cat ears as a business expense? Because, like… I'm a professional. Meow, bitch! [Final synth sparkle, catlike giggle, record scratch]
