TRACK 04 — I MISS WHO I WAS [Intro — bare piano, distant guitar texture, no drums] You're not mine to know anymore [Pause] Maybe that's okay 'Cause lately I've been trying to remember me [Verse 1 — close-mic, restrained melodic rap] I miss waking up without checking my phone Miss taking the long way just driving home Miss laughing and letting a moment be good Without wondering when it was gonna go wrong I miss trusting a feeling Without needing proof Didn't read every silence Like somebody was leaving the room Didn't measure my worth By who wanted me close Didn't lose half myself Trying not to lose someone I loved And that's hard to say 'Cause for months I blamed the ending on you But somewhere between loving you And trying to save us I disappeared too [Pre-Chorus — melody rising gradually] Maybe I've been calling this heartbreak 'Cause that was easier to understand Maybe every time I said, “I miss you” I was talking about who I was back then [Chorus — wide emotional hook] I don't miss us I miss who I was Before loving somebody Started feeling like losing myself I don't want you back I want me back The version of me Who didn't need somebody else to feel enough Spent so long saying your name Mine became the one I forgot I don't miss us I miss who I was [Post-Chorus — soft stacked doubles] Who I was Who I was I want me back Who I was Who I was I want me back [Verse 2 — drums enter, smoother rhythmic pocket] I had friends that I stopped calling Dreams I kept putting on hold Music I stopped listening to Places I stopped wanting to go Started making myself smaller Just to keep the peace Called it compromise When really I was disappearing piece by piece That's on me too Yeah I can finally admit it You didn't steal every part of me Sometimes I handed pieces over Thinking that's what love was supposed to be And maybe healing Ain't deciding who's wrong Maybe it's looking at everything left And figuring out what still belongs To me My voice My time My friends My nights My mistakes My life I think I want 'em back [Pre-Chorus — stronger vocal, drums building] There's still songs I haven't written Still roads I haven't driven Still people I haven't met Still parts of me I haven't lived in Maybe I don't need the person I was before everything cracked Maybe I just need enough of him To remember how to come back [Chorus — fuller drums, stronger harmonies] I don't miss us I miss who I was Before loving somebody Started feeling like losing myself I don't want you back I want me back The version of me Who didn't need somebody else to feel enough Spent so long saying your name Mine became the one I forgot I don't miss us I miss who I was [Post-Chorus — expanded] Who I was Who I was I want me back Who I was Who I was Maybe he's not gone like that [Bridge — drums disappear, exposed vocal] But maybe I can't go backwards Maybe that's not what healing means 'Cause the man standing here right now Knows things that kid had never seen He loved He lost He stayed too long He broke He learned He got some things wrong And I'm done wishing I could erase everything that hurt 'Cause I wouldn't know what peace was If I never learned what it was worth [Pause] So maybe I don't want the old me back Not exactly I want his hope His laugh The way he trusted tomorrow But I'll keep what this version learned [Build — heartbeat kick begins] I was here before you I'm here after you And for the first time That doesn't sound lonely It sounds like proof [Final Chorus — harmonic lift, largest vocal stack] I don't miss us I remember who I was And loving somebody Should never mean losing yourself I don't want you back I got me back Not the same kid But somebody I'm finally learning to love Spent so long saying your name Now I answer when somebody says mine I don't miss us I found who I was [Final Post-Chorus — warm layered vocals] I got me back I got me back Not the same But I got me back I got me back I got me back Maybe better than that [Outro — piano and guitar only] I thought losing you Was the part that broke me [Pause] It wasn't Losing myself was [Long pause] And finding myself That's the part I wanna remember
