Verse 1: Santa hit Montgomery right around nine, GPS yellin’, “Boy, you’re losin’ time!” Dasher’s in the back, playin’ with the radio, Blitzen’s got road rage, yellin’, “Let’s go!” Chorus: Santa got stuck in traffic, bless his heart, Ain’t been this mad since the reindeer farted in the cart. Elves on the dash eatin’ boiled peanuts, Tryin’ to keep the sleigh from goin’ nuts. Christmas might be late, but he’s doin’ his best— Santa’s in the South, and he’s headin’ west. Verse 2: Hot cocoa melted, Mrs. Claus called twice, Said, “You should’ve flown, not listened to the guys.” Rudolph’s nose blinkin’ like a hazard light, Tailgatin’ a semi full of Bud Light. Verse 3: He waved at a tow truck dressed up like a sleigh, Driver said, “Buddy, I get paid by the day.” Kids on the shoulder yell, “Where’s my toy?” Santa hollers back, “Ask the state convoy!” Google Maps spinnin’ like a Christmas wheel, Rudolph’s nose the only thing that’s real. Bridge: Waffle House angels sing carols off-key, Police lights flashin’ like a Christmas tree. He swears next year he’ll take to the sky— ‘Cause Alabama asphalt just don’t fly. Final Chorus: Santa got stuck in traffic, bless his soul, Runnin’ late again but still on roll. Cookies meltin’, eggnog hot, But the South’s got spirit, like it or not. So if your gifts are late, don’t fuss or fight— Santa hit I-65 tonight.
