[Intro] You coming out then? Dunno. Means yes, that. [Verse 1] There's a shopping trolley in the subway, One wheel missing, naturally, Some lad's drawn a moustache on the councillor On the election leaflet by the chippy. Ashley's arguing with the taxi driver, Says three quid's taking the piss, While his girlfriend's stood behind him saying, "Ash, just fucking leave it." Friday night outside the takeaway, Everyone's dressed like somewhere's planned, But nobody actually knows where we're going, So we're following whoever's got cans. [Pre-Chorus] Someone says there's something happening Up near Jordan's mate's old place, Nobody knows who Jordan's mate is— But we're going anyway. [Chorus] 'Cause nothing happens round here, That's what everybody says, Then Saturday arrives And someone's sleeping in a hedge. Someone's lost a phone, Someone's pulled someone they regret, Nothing happens round here— But we ain't been home yet. [Verse 2] Twenty minutes walking up the bypass, Turns out Jordan got it wrong, House is dark, curtains shut, And whoever lived there has clearly gone. So it's back towards the high street, Past the shutters and the cash machine, Where two lads square up over absolutely nothing While their mates shout, "Leave it, Dean!" There's a girl crying outside the kebab shop, Her mate's holding both her shoes, She says, "I'm completely done with men." Then asks if we've seen Luke. [Pre-Chorus] Taxi rank's becoming warfare, Someone's nicked somebody's seat, And the bloke sweeping up the takeaway Has seen this every week. [Chorus] 'Cause nothing happens round here, That's what everybody says, Then Saturday arrives And someone's sleeping in a hedge. Someone's lost a phone, Someone's pulled someone they regret, Nothing happens round here— But we ain't been home yet. [Bridge] Three in the morning by the cashpoint, And the shouting's mostly stopped, Just wrappers chasing down the pavement And a bus that isn't ours. Ashley says he's joining the Army, Jordan reckons he'll move away, Luke's apparently going back to college— We've heard all three before today. Then someone asks what I'm doing. I say, "Something." They say, "What?" I say, "Dunno yet." And somehow that's the first honest thing Any of us have said. [Instrumental Break] [Verse 3] Quarter to four outside the petrol station, Buying crisps through bulletproof glass, Jordan's counting twenty-pence pieces, Ashley finally found his lass. First bus growls around the corner, Everybody suddenly looks wrecked, All that swagger from six hours earlier Has gone home without us yet. We sit upstairs without much talking, Grey morning coming through the rain, Then somebody says, "Next Friday?" And every bastard says the same. [Final Chorus] 'Cause nothing happens round here, That's what everybody says, But we've lived entire lifetimes Between the off-licence and our beds. We'll complain until we leave it, Then we'll miss it when we've left, Nothing happens round here— Except everything, I guess. Nothing happens round here— Yeah. See you next weekend then. [Outro] You coming out? Dunno. ...Yeah.
