I don't wanna talk about it. I don't wanna hear it's fine. I just wanna know when living Stopped feeling like a life. I've been driving past the places where I used to feel alive, Trying to recognize the person staring back into my eyes. Everybody says I'm changing, but they never ask me why, Maybe I've been getting older, maybe something in me died. And I'm sorry I get distant when you ask me what's the matter, I just hate the way my honesty can turn a room to silence. So I tell you I'm exhausted, say I've got a lot to do, When the truth is I'm just struggling to feel like I'm still me. And I know that other people have it harder than I do, But why does that make me feel like I can't hurt, too? I've been waiting for a reason to forgive myself somehow, But if I can't do it then, how am I supposed to do it now? I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY I COULD LOVE! SOMEBODY WHO DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GIVING UP! I'M SO SICK OF BEING MY OWN WORST ENEMY! WHY'S IT SO DAMN HARD TO JUST BE ME?! I WANNA BREAK DOWN, I WANNA LET GO! I WANNA FEEL SOMETHING I USED TO KNOW! I'M SCREAMING SO LOUD BUT NOBODY CAN HEAR— I'M STILL RIGHT HERE, I'M STILL RIGHT HERE! I deleted all the pictures, but I still remember everything, The stupid little promises, the future we imagined. It's not even that I miss you every second of the day, It's that I miss who I was before I learned that things can change. And I wonder if you think about the way we let it end, If you ever almost call me, if you almost hit send. Or if I'm just another story that you tell somebody new, While I'm still here making sense of what I meant to you. I keep saying I'm moving on, But I'm still singing our old songs! And I'm angry that I miss you, And I'm angry that you're gone! I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY I COULD LOVE! SOMEBODY WHO DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GIVING UP! I'M SO SICK OF BEING MY OWN WORST ENEMY! WHY'S IT SO DAMN HARD TO JUST BE ME?! I WANNA BREAK DOWN, I WANNA LET GO! I WANNA FEEL SOMETHING I USED TO KNOW! I'M SCREAMING SO LOUD BUT NOBODY CAN HEAR— I'M STILL RIGHT HERE, I'M STILL RIGHT HERE! Maybe someday I'll look back at this And barely recognize the pain. Maybe all these things I'm carrying Won't always feel the same. But I don't need another promise That tomorrow I'll be new. I just need a little patience For the person I'm still growing into. I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY I COULD LOVE! I'M DONE PRETENDING THAT I'M STRONG ENOUGH! IF I'M A MESS, THEN LET ME BE A MESS! I'M DONE APOLOGIZING FOR FEELING LIKE THIS! I WANNA BREAK DOWN, I WANNA LET GO! I WANNA FIND THE KID I USED TO KNOW! AND MAYBE I'M NOT WHO I THOUGHT I'D BE— BUT I'M STILL HERE, AND THAT'S STILL ME! Maybe I don't hate myself. Maybe I'm just tired of being at war with myself.
