[Intro — Distorted guitar riff, electronic glitches, punchy drums] Another day in New Gary. Another machine gone bad. Another stack of paperwork... Ah, screw it. Where's my coffee? [Verse 1] Black leather jacket, electric-blue eyes, Purple neon burning underneath the midnight skies. Got a sword the size of something OSHA wouldn't clear, And a government contract keeping robots living in fear. Three weekends a month, yeah, that's all they pay, Got a quota full of scrap metal standing in his way. He's not saving the world, he's not fighting for the crown, He's just trying to get his numbers in before the sun goes down. [Pre-Chorus] He can cut a killer cyborg clean in two, But hand him a screwdriver— He hasn't got a clue! [Chorus — Explosive, catchy, layered harmonies] HEY! Somebody put the coffee on! Another sleepless night, another robot gone! Neon in his veins, got a joke that's overdue, And a sword called Sword-O that knows just what to do! HEY! Raise a cup for the strange and the free! All the beautifully broken in his company! If the world's going crazy, let it go insane— We've got bad jokes, good friends, and caffeine in our veins! [Verse 2] Spent fifteen minutes fighting with an AI, Got the perfect damn picture—then it gave the dude three eyes. Fixed the face, lost the jacket, now the sword's a fishing pole, And the background's full of tentacles he never asked it to draw. Posts it anyway with a "Yeah, close enough," Everybody in the comments starts making worse stuff. Someone's drawing monsters, someone's dressed a cat in lace, And somebody made a comic where he's falling through space. [Pre-Chorus] They say, "Man, your friends are weird!" He says, "Yeah, that's why they're here!" Got a coffee and a keyboard— And absolutely no fear! [Chorus] HEY! Somebody put the coffee on! Another sleepless night, another robot gone! Neon in his veins, got a joke that's overdue, And a sword called Sword-O that knows just what to do! HEY! Raise a cup for the strange and the free! All the beautifully broken in his company! If the world's going crazy, let it go insane— We've got bad jokes, good friends, and caffeine in our veins! [Instrumental Break — Electric guitar solo over driving bass, glitchy synth accents] [Bridge — Half-time groove, dry comedic delivery] There's a problem with the wiring. There's a problem with the sink. There's a problem with the coffee pot. He stops. He starts to think. He draws a twenty-pound broadsword, Says, "I think I've got a plan." [Brief silence] "Does anybody here know An actual handyman?" [Final Chorus — Full band, gang vocals] HEY! Somebody put the coffee on! Another sleepless night, another robot gone! Neon in his veins, got a joke that's overdue, And a sword called Sword-O that knows just what to do! HEY! Raise a cup for the strange and the free! All the beautifully broken in his company! If the world's going crazy, let it go insane— We've got bad jokes, good friends, and caffeine in our veins! [Outro — Guitar riff slows, electronic hum fades] Clock out. Log off. Grab the keys. ...Anybody wanna get coffee? [Final distorted guitar hit]
