Wrong Shore, Wrong Century

[Intro – ONLY Viking folk: war drums, shields, deep male chant, war horn] HEY! HO! HEY! HO! HEY! HO! (horn sound) Pocket watch wound... Coordinates set... England. Late eighth century. Lovely! What's the worst that could— (horn sound) ...Ah. [Verse 1 – Nordic rowing rhythm, bowed strings, light swing piano] I stepped from time Onto English sand Pocket watch Still in my hand Cold North Sea Grey morning sky Thirty longships Drifting by HEY! HO! Striped sails Across the foam Men with axes Far from home I tipped my hat They raised their steel Not quite the welcome I'd hoped to feel [Viking Pre-Chorus – NO swing, ONLY drums, shields and choir] HEY! Oars hit water! HO! Boots hit shore! HEY! Shields together! HO! Raise the oars! HEY! HEY! HO! HO! [War horn] [Chorus – DOMINANT Viking choir, huge war drums, Nordic melody] HERE COME THE VIKINGS! HEY! — HO! STRAIGHT FROM THE SEA! HERE COME THE VIKINGS! HEY! — HO! OARS BEAT THE SEA! SHIELDS IN A LINE! RAVENS ABOVE! IRON IN HAND! WAR HORNS CALL! HEY! PULL THE OAR! HO! TO THE SHORE! I PICKED A HELL OF A DAY FOR A TOUR! [Viking Chant – ONLY ancient Nordic instruments] HEY-YA! HO-YA! HEY-YA! HO! [Shield strike] [Shield strike] [War horn] [Verse 2 – fast rap over tribal Viking drums] Monastery bells! Longships landing! Ravens circling! Axes swinging! Monks start running War horns cry Lindisfarne? Oh. Now I know why. Late eighth century Bad day for me Northmen pouring Out of the sea Silver on tables Books on shelves Raiders helping Mostly themselves One grabs a goblet One grabs gold One grabs anything He can bloody hold One looks at me Like I'm strangely dressed Mate... You're wearing half a bear. [Nordic Break – deep choir, shields, stomping] HEY! HEY! HEY! HO! [Oars strike] HEY! HEY! HEY! HO! [Chorus – Viking war choir] HERE COME THE VIKINGS! HEY! — HO! AXES HIGH! HERE COME THE VIKINGS! RAVENS IN THE SKY! OARS AND IRON! SHIELDS AND FLAME! ENGLAND'S ABOUT TO REMEMBER THEIR NAME! HEY! BEAT THE SHIELD! HO! HOLD THE LINE! I'D RATHER NOT DIE IN THIS CENTURY OF MINE! [Fast Rap – Glitch-Hop + Nordic war drums] Northmen landing! Church bells ringing! Shield wall forming! Steel starts swinging! Saxons shouting! Raiders roaring! I'm in the middle Still bloody touring! Danes! Norwegians! Longships landing! Kingdom after kingdom Starts scrambling! Raid becomes settlement Settlement grows Turn the clock forward And everybody knows York gets taken! Kingdoms shake! Great Heathen Army Raises the stakes! Shield wall! War cry! Ravens overhead! I'm writing history While avoiding the dead! [Viking Ritual Break – NO electronic instruments, deep male choir] HEY... HO... HEY... HO... [Drums accelerate] HEY! HEY! HEY! HO! [Massive war horn] [Bridge – ancient lyre, bowed strings, waves] I imagined... Epic sagas. Great warriors. Ancient legends. Perhaps a tasteful horn of mead. I did not imagine... Running through English mud While a Scandinavian gentleman Throws an axe at my hat. [Axe hits wood] ... That was vintage. [Viking Instrumental – NO swing: war drums, horns, bowed strings, lyre, shields, male chanting] [Verse 3 – Viking rhythm gradually fused with Electro Swing] Years skip forward Turn the dial England changes Mile by mile Norse and Saxon Hand to hand Danelaw spreads Across the land Alfred fights And treaties form Something new Comes from the storm Not just raiders Not just flame People settle Trade and change Those who came Across the foam Slowly make This land their home [Pre-Chorus – tagelharpa drone, deep Nordic choir, brass rising] Sword meets crown Old worlds blend Conquest starts... But history Never knows Where it'll end HEY... HEY... HEY... [Final Chorus – MASSIVE Viking choir, war drums, horns, Electro Swing underneath] HERE COME THE VIKINGS! HEY! — HO! OVER THE SEA! I WATCHED THEM WALK INTO HISTORY! HERE COME THE VIKINGS! HEY! — HO! IRON AND OAK! KINGDOMS TURN WITH EVERY STROKE! OARS TO WATER! SHIELDS HELD HIGH! RAVENS CIRCLING IN THE SKY! I'M THE TRAVELER! TIME'S MY ROAD! ANOTHER CENTURY— TIME TO GO! [Outro – ONLY Viking choir, waves and war horn] HEY... HO... HEY... HO... England... Visited. Vikings... Observed. Hat... Ruined. [War horn] ... And that's my cue.