Yeah, swiped right, big mistake. Profile said "Angel," reality... well. Deep Ones, Innsmouth, you know the vibe. Profile picture looking like a movie star (Damn) Met her at the diner, drove my beat-up car She wore a hood, raincoat, looking kind of shy Then she took it off—Lord, I almost died Skin like a swamp, covered up in scales Thought it was a filter, a glitch, or a fail She ordered raw fish, didn't use a fork I'm sitting there shaking, trying to talk Everybody said "Run!" Everybody said "Leave!" But she looked at me And I still couldn't breathe Everybody said "Son... You ain't thinking right..." But I bought her flowers And I stayed the night She had gills on the neck Yeah, she breathing the mist She had scales on the skin But I'm tempted to kiss She smelled like tuna But my heart said yes She smelled like tuna Now my life a mess She smelled like tuna From the ocean deep My heart said yes While my soul can't sleep Yeah, she smelled like tuna But my heart said yes Cosmic horror date Man, I'm obsessed She whispered in a language That I couldn't understand Tentacles reaching out Holding my hand The diner went silent The ocean kept calling Looking in her eyes Yeah, I'm deeply falling They say "Don't date a creature from the sea" But look at this drip Man, she perfect for me Forget the Tinder rules Forget the common sense I'm eloping to the harbor Consequences? None Everybody said "Run!" Everybody said "Leave!" But she smiled at me And I still couldn't leave Everybody said "Son... This ain't gonna end right..." But I held her hand And stayed another night Met her family down by the pier Everybody had fins and fishy ears Grandpa blinked with seven eyes Still told me I was a handsome guy Cult robes drying on a line They offered me fermented brine Signed my name and took the ring Guess I'm marrying the sea king The moon got weird The tide rolled black Everybody chanting Can't go back Saw Cthulhu rising Out the foam Looked at me and said "Welcome home." She smelled like tuna But my heart said yes She smelled like tuna And I'm still obsessed She smelled like tuna From the abyss below Swiped right one time Now I'm never going home She smelled like tuna But my heart said yes She smelled like tuna And I must confess Best bad decision That I ever made Now I'm eating sushi At the end of days Tuna breath... Call of Cthulhu... Match made in the abyss... Swiped right on an Old One... I'm gone...
