I let my demons in shout out to juice, I walk through life without a vest feeling bulletproof, but that's just a facade cause these hidden suicidal thoughts are self induced, I know I'm the reason that this pain in my chest persists, but Everytime I try to keep my demons in they resist, I look into the mirror and all I feel is pissed, knowing that my father raised a soldier not a bitch, I stand tall even though these demons beat me till I fall, I never slow down even if I crawl, I will keep it pushing till I'm in gods great hall, legends are made to rise and fall but I listened to juice I won't follow that sirens call. Feels like when I wake up I don't wanna see the dawn so I put my head under the covers and blast a song tryna drown out my emotions from the moment my eyes open I don't know if this is coping or if this is just me hoping but I try to write these songs to keep my life from downward sloping, I don't know if God is watching or if he even cares but I'm telling you right now I feel too many stares I don't wanna leave the house alone it isn't safe out there I'd ask my father or God for help but it feels like they're not there, I wanna say I'm strong but I know deep down I'm scared, of the monster that's just beneath the surface, even though he's quiet he's still there, waiting for the moment I let my guard down and am unprepared. If I could go back to the days when life was good, back when I had my dad despite living in the hood, I'd tell him how much he meant to me and what he's really done, to make me the man I am today, the man that is his son, I hope for nothing more than to make him proud and show the world that no one's voice will ever be as loud, he taught me how to handle life when it kicks you while your down, so only thing I want to do is make him smile before I hit the ground, if that's a dream I can't achieve then i guess ill just keep trying, cause the only time you truly fail is the moment you stop trying. This is the message from my demons that I hold deep within, it's the only way I can let them out without letting them win, I hope I can go through life and forgive my sins, but that's up to God not me so I'll see if he forgives them when this all ends, i know my time is coming close, i feel it in my soul, i just hope my destiny isn't an abyss as black as coal, my whole life feels like one great war, and if I'm being honest I don't know if I can fight it anymore. From here on out I'm on my own, I'm by myself I have no home, so along this dusty road I roam, until I find a place to call my own, i know that dream alone is more than a longshot, but if i dont fucking try i know ill never leave this spot, i want to be Living comfortable for the day I rot, cause my father tried so hard to do the same before he wound up in a plot.
